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Man Looking For Person Who Shat Down His Chimney

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(N.Morgan) You have to wonder what this guy did to tick someone off this badly. Wow!  A Scottish householder returns home to find that some idiot had taken a shit down his chimney. Mike Williams is furious as the chimney had only just been cleaned.. Mike raged: “I was just getting home from work when a neighbour ran up and said they had seen a wee ned (Scottish for ruffian) shitting down the chimney. “He’s even taken a wee photo on his phone.

 

 

When I open the door the smell was incredible. “The wee bastards’s shite had landed in the grate, it was all over the place! “It was all on the rug in front of the fire. There’s no way it’ll brush out. What the hell am i going to say to the insurance? ‘Och, a ned shat down the chimney’? “If I get my hands on the little bastard I’ll kick him so hard in the arse he’ll never sh*t again.” A source at Grampian Police said the crime was “Unpleasant and unusual”.

 

 

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    Total 52 comments
    • JustAComment

      It’s very sad if this guy has children. So much for any hope of Santa Claus showing up this year.

      • N. Morgan

        LMFAO!! :lol: Yes, poor children. :grin:

        • JustAComment

          “Mommy! Mommy! There’s a fly in my room! Santa Claus came!”

          Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
          Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
          The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
          In hopes St. Nicholas wouldn’t noticed the air.

          He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
          And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
          Clamping the clothespin back astride his nose,
          With a petulant nod, up the chimney he rose!

          He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
          And away they all flew like a North Korean missile.
          And I heard him exclaim, to all and next of kin,
          “Happy Christmas to all, but get thee quickly up wind!”

        • N. Morgan

          LOL!!! That is too funny! :lol: I’m glad it wasn’t my chimney, is all I can say!

          I have to wonder though, why on Earth did the man click a picture of himself doing it?

        • JustAComment

          Maybe the guy’s a chimney sweep and the picture will show up on a sales brochure, explaining why it’s wise to use his services? Sweeps by Shatz, where our motto is, “No regrets!”

          Wait! Tried to find the full story online and couldn’t, but, if you squint at the wee letters of the article about the wee ned in the picture above, it was a neighbor who took the photo with his phone. It would be interesting to know the motive, suspicious it’s some weird publicity stunt. The homeowner doesn’t seem to have any idea who the supposed ruffian is, so this would tend to rule out revenge. It was done in broad daylight, bad time to get caught but good time for photography, with somebody available to take a pretty good picture, at just the right time, the photographer also knowing the victim. Hmm, says I.

      • Usefuleater

        Somehow coal and switches don’t seem so bad anymore.

    • The Fall Seeing Eye

      That is the funniest sh!t I have seen in a long time. Now, if only we could have an army of chimney sh!tters sneak onto the roof of the White House… :eek: :lol:

      • N. Morgan

        TFSE!!! LMFAO!! Indeed!! An army of Chimney Power Poopers. :lol: :lol: :lol:

        • JustAComment

          “An army of Chimney Power Poopers”

          But are Power Poopers already out there and watching us? Was looking at fuzzy pictures of the UFO invasion in France, and the thought popped into my head, as if implanted, to search BIN for secret government programs. Going to try search strings “Rothschilds” and “Poop Team 6″ to start.

      • JustAComment

        “Now, if only we could have an army of chimney sh!tters sneak onto the roof of the White House”

        But would anybody even notice? In Washington, wouldn’t it just blend in?

        • N. Morgan

          LOL!! JAC, yeah, it would be hard to tell the difference, wouldn’t it? :lol: :lol: :lol:

        • JustAComment

          It would be considered business as usual. There would be a tiny mention on some back page of the Washington Post of a new K Street office opening, “Americans for Brown Chimneys,” maybe an editorial advocating legislation that waives EPA regulation of chimney crap. At most, John McCain would be on Sunday talk shows, calling for federal funding of Muslim chimney crappers and bombing Imodium factories, while liberal talking heads call for a new tax, Crap Capture Credits, Greenpeace protesters self-emollating in front of the White House over Global Stinking, and Barney Frank on TV every fifteen minutes, asking why the Republicans on the Excrement Committee he chairs didn’t see this coming. A few Americans will wonder why crapping in chimneys should be a norm and put on the “no fly” list. And the end of all these things? The crap just goes on…

    • Geeper

      I’m guessing this is a fake story based on one photo they found online, but funny stuff.

      • N. Morgan

        I don’t think it is fake, actually. The jerk who did it took a pic of himself doing it.

        I figured someone paid the guy to poop in the guy’s chimney, the pic being proof he did it.

        Geeper, I can always count on you for some sunshine, can’t I ? :grin:

        • BigSky

          Now how could the party pooper do it himself? It’s clear that the neighbor took the photo, and notified the resident when he returned home.

    • InquisitiveMind

      Please bear in mind that this was reported in The Sunday Sport who once reported on a WWII Spitfire being found on the moon. Although in this case it’s probably true as it happened in Scotland.

      • mfritz0

        This story seems about 10 years old. Been an awful long time ago I read about this. Still disgusting, kind of like the story about the guy the police found in the lower portion of an out house spying on the women pooping on him.

    • Anonymous

      Thought that happens only in America?
      The English are jokers but this is going a bit too far Looks like its catching on overseas though.

    • TombRaider

      I’m guessing it was warm weather when this deposit was made otherwise this pooping prankster would be on the hot seat!

      • N. Morgan

        LOL!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

    • dblhdr

      - Simple solution – just light a fire. The smell and the poop will be gone in no time.

      • JustAComment

        Is this advice from experience?

        No. Forget it. Don’t answer that. I really don’t want to know if this is going on all around us.

    • Big Craig

      “He’s even taken a wee photo on his phone.

      a poo photo u mean

    • Anonymous

      Now why in the world would somebody climb all the way up onto a roof just to drop a turd down somebody’s chimney? Must be some weird people in that part of the world, with too much time on their hands.

    • truthzilla

      One of the chimney cleaners did it…

    • levi

      do a dna test its a miracle what information you can get lol

    • TombRaider

      Oh come on, he’s just dropping another log on the fire!

      A little Christmas for you?

      “Chets” nuts roasting on an open fire…..My Bad!

    • gsummit

      This is now listed by BIN in the “Watercooler” section. Maybe the should start a “Dinner Table” section.

    • chefjim

      Is “shat” an actual word?

      • N. Morgan

        Yep it is past tense for Sh*t.

        From Websters: Definition of SHAT past and past participle of sh*t. LOL :lol:

    • anonymous

      This is probably the greatest story on BIN ever. Working offshore a long time ago on a drilling rig somebody didn’t like the toolpusher too much and sneaked into his room and shat in his boots.

      • N. Morgan

        LOL! Anonymous! it certainly is going over well! :lol:

        I have to admit surprise at that,but I think we all need a break from time to time from all this regime’s BS.

        • TombRaider

          I agree completely young lady!!

        • Norry

          Well done Girl ! And the comments are brilliant!
          The best laugh I’ve had in a long time.
          Tis great how just the very basics of existence can be so funny.
          Thanks everyone.

    • billy bob

      Because the tp might catch on fire looks like he threw it on roof,not making fire hazzard

    • Smiddywesson

      Santa used to leave a lump of coal, but energy prices are high, and our level of civility isn’t what it used to be.

    • Smiddywesson

      Up on the roof top,
      Quick, quick, quick,
      Down through the grate,
      Shat Ole Saint Nick!

    • CrowPie

      I sooooo needed this laugh!

    • Anonymous

      Only in scotland!

      • N. Morgan

        Yep, A!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

    • Jack Shlitz

      *Sprach Zarathustra playing in the background*

    • The Real Deal

      “The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
      While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
      And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
      Had just settled our noses for a long winter’s nap,
      When up on the roof there arose such a clatter,
      It was my neighbor, “the mad Shatter.
      Away to the window I flew like a flash,
      Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
      The chimney stenched of the new-fallen doo,
      Gave a lustre of midday to objects of poo.”

    • No time

      This gives new meaning to, put another log on the fire.

    • TheSinner

      Luck for the home owner , you cant flush a chimney

    • USN_Ret

      I’ll see your Dutch Oven and raise you a British Chimney.

    • Pix

      Got to hand it to the Scots, they’re inventive for sure.

      :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    • The Clucker

      I’m excited that the chimney pooping story has climbed its way back up onto the front page.

    • duncombemu

      It’s still better than the shit that you get covered in, on TV these days. :razz:

    • babycatcher

      I hope he finds him and makes a new huge hole next to the old one. There’s no excuse for that! How gross!

    • Johann Needlesmuggler

      There are already a bunch of well dressed turds in the white house by the old mantle. Notice the guy with the chimney is a total transman as with most ALL media stories nowadays. All news is fake btw. Oh yeah…in case no one has noticed, trannies run your fraudulent governments across the world. Wars? Borders?”terrorism”…they must really get a good laugh on the gullible people. Please look into this and your eyes will be very wide open at just how silly the whole thing actually is. Fear and hoaxes are how they stay in power.

    • Johann Needlesmuggler

      I know the president’s roots are in Scotland. Maybe this is normal over there. I heard Jared kushner flushes himself from a bathroom in DC to Tel Aviv when 1st class is sold out.

    • N. Morgan

      :lol: :lol: :lol: CS!!

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