My Reaction To A 'Suspicious' Person

I’ve begun trying to go on walks again. Nearly two months of constant flares have had me sitting on my butt far too much and I’ve lost some conditioning. So– when I feel a little better I’m just going on very short walks of barely over a mile, reaching home with little in me to spare.

Today (Tuesday) I went for a walk and was only a couple of blocks from my home when I saw a fellow walker on my path heading towards me. Now, I see people all the time and never blink. It was the quietest time of the day, so not many people were out, but I still passed a few, even in the short time I was out on the pedestrian paths that weave all over these hills.

But this person heading towards me set off my radar. It was a very dark, cloudy day– though dry (for a short time… Seattle area’s been getting record rain for the last 2 years in an already notoriously rainy climate) and the woman was wearing big Jackie O sunglasses, which are back in style again. On such a dark day the enormous black glasses looked odd. I took notice at the discrepancy in normal behavior, but didn’t get too worried, after all, maybe she has sensitive eyes. It happens.

Then she got closer and I notice she’s wearing a shit ton of make-up. It is caked on! And my belly started to clench up. I couldn’t help it. The woman was blond and taller than me, maybe 5’9″ or 5’10″, looked to be in shape and probably 30s– though hard to tell under the huge glasses and thick make-up. As she drew closer, I couldn’t help but stare. I noticed she was wearing shorts but also a knitted winter cap– similar to what Waldo wears in the “Where’s Waldo” books, except with the white and red reversed so that there was more white showing. That combo was also odd.

I started to feel very uncomfortable. I didn’t want to be mean and stare, but I was trying to see if she was normal or not. I tried to smile, but I don’t know if I did so successfully. She reached into her pocket and I found myself grabbing my own pepper spray hidden in MY pocket! If she made any kind of threatening move, I was going to defend myself!

So, based entirely on an odd appearance, I became ever more upset and alarmed and found myself becoming rather aggressive! I would never make the first move, of course. But I actually felt ready to tangle with this person if she stepped out of line. I NEVER get that paranoid on walks! Even when I see strange men who seem a little off, I am wary but calm. I felt far more fear for this one tall, blond, slightly off-kilter woman than I ever normally do.

She passed me and smiled back and that made her seem more normal so I relaxed a little. But as soon as she passed me, I turned to make sure she kept going– and then kept turning several times to keep checking. Her hat, from the back, looked like a red and white target symbol– how ironic!

I doubt she was anything but human. When we got close to each other, I didn’t get the ‘presence’ I would expect from a telepath– that probably was more reassuring to me than her smile. But I have recently issued a challenge about what They would have to do to shut me up. There’s a part of me who is prepared for a less-than-friendly answer! So I’m sure I’m more vigilant these days, but still–!

There was a level of paranoia that I found very uncomfortable. I know it was a coincidental series of triggers all piling up off this one woman, not to mention my writing lately of events in my past that were often overwhelming, that set me off. I don’t want to be rude to perfect strangers just because they LOOK a little funny. I’m sure I look funny to some people with my stupidly long hair.

I suppose, though I didn’t like maybe over-reacting, another part of me was proud I kept my composure, made sure to carefully observe the woman in question, and was prepared to defend myself should she physically threaten me– not that I would expect that, but you never know. My trust levels are obviously quite low after all I’ve endured. They break promises and steal memories and I’m not okay with that and never will be.

If I’m wrong and we imagine that the tall blond woman WAS more than human, than I’m sure she now knows I’m alert and defensive, but able to control myself, even with an elevated level of fear. However, I’m sure she’s just a regular person with some odd issues– maybe she hates her face, who knows? I was pretty shocked at how quickly my fear escalated, though, just because of the combination of factors in her appearance. There’s no doubt of the trauma there. At Spiral’s End: What’s Left After the Paradigm Shatters is the personal paranormal blog of a woman that follows not only current odd events in her life, but recounts incidents from her past, including lifelong alien abductions, encounters with ghosts and other spiritual beings, and premonitions from either waking visions or dreams. She reacts and speculates about the deeper meaning behind these incidents and wonders– what is the ultimate reality or intelligence behind it all?