Xmas At Heidi's & A Car Accident

Cat and I had our own quiet Yule, but Cat and her mom used to get invited to Xmas dinner at a friend’s house for nearly 10 years. It’s been pretty crazy and so Cat hasn’t been able to do this since I moved in with her 3 years ago. This year– we did it!

When you don’t have affectionate (or even dutiful) family to spend the holidays with, having friends over or being invited by friends to spend holidays with is nice. Not to mention– as guests, we don’t have to do prep or clean-up!

I was also happy to do it since it was Cat’s friend Heidi, who I got on with like gangbusters within just a few minutes of meeting her. She’s smart, cool, friendly, and quirky. Another Type 4, but with a 1 line and 5 wing, just like me! And she’s a writer like me. I last saw her over a year ago when she got pregnant with her first child, a daughter, and she and her hubby came to our Halloween Housewarming.

The only thing I didn’t like about the holiday visit and dinner were the 2 old German Shepherd dogs they had that barked like mad when we first arrived and a few times throughout the evening. Happily, I’m much more relaxed now and they did not trigger a panic attack in me, which was Cat’s concern. “I’m medicated, now, remember?” I told her.

Heidi’s year old girl was so freaking CUTE. She put the Gerber baby to shame, for reals. And she was pretty non-fussy for a baby just learning to walk and talk. By the end of the night, little Zoe was smiling at me.

I got a chance to speak to Heidi’s dad about his pain management. He’s on Lyrica now, same as me, and he was amazed at the hoops they made him jump through, taking everything under the sun first, including the dreaded Cymbalta– which doesn’t work AND is severely addictive!– before he got the prescription. But he thanked me for recommending Lyrica, because I was right– it WAS the only thing that actually knocked down the pain! And it helped his overall stress levels come down several notches on top of that. Yep!

I got to chat with Heidi’s rather severe Type 1 husband, Dean. He’s gentle and sweet, but very… precise and orderly and logical and a little anxious. I’m pretty sure he’s an Aspie because he doesn’t pick up on many social cues and can be awkward and he talks in obsessive detail, which is a dead giveaway. However, I’m great with those on the autism spectrum. I get how they feel and know how to talk to them, so he’s more relaxed with me now.

His mother is a Korean immigrant who is very quiet and subdued and hard to get to know. We bonded through mutual admiration of the baby, though. And then, towards the end of the evening, she actually sought out conversation with me and we were just smiling at one another and she is just so sweet! I’m always charmed by sweet, shy, gentle people. The universe needs more of them, dammit!

The food and wine served were excellent, and we got cookies as a gift when we left. I assured Cat that if she wanted to continue to do the Xmas night dinners with Heidi’s family, I was totally up for it from this point forward.

Not to mention Cat missed Heidi so much and I wanted to get to know her better. I’m super comfortable with her, which I’ve learned means my intuition gives me 100% approval for the new friendship.

I did get a chance to talk to her a little at one point, catching up on the entire last YEAR of life, and she made it clear that though she loved her Zoe, motherhood was proving to be very distressing in some ways. She didn’t like that it changed who she felt she was… subsumed by another to become a role, rather than a person. I could only too easily imagine what she meant, especially as a Type 4! Holding your own as a person is paramount for 4s more than any other Enneatype. Also, she had some mild post-partum depression and all that on top of caring for an infant proved to be a bit daunting. It was a rough year for her.

I reminded her that I’m home all day most of the time and can easily devote an hour here or there to conversation if she feels too cut off or isolated, or just in need of some distraction. She gave me a look, like– “Oh yeah!” So– maybe I’ll hear from her more often in the future. We shall see.

We left around 9pm in high spirits and were only maybe a half hour from home when there was a car accident nearly in front of us! Everyone had to pull over and the road got blocked. A drunk driver in a huge Suburban SUV ran into a family in a small Chrysler, crushing it in HALF. Everyone came out of the accident with little injury, but the drunk driver tried to flee the scene– and several guys jumped out of their cars and chased him down the highway and held him until police got there. They even found the beer cans he tried to toss out his windows! The SUV took out a guard rail and ended up down 20 feet in the woods, while the crushed Chrysler was across the left and center lanes.

Then cops came, ambulances, tow trucks. It was a mess for a half hour and finally we could go. If we had been just 5 seconds faster down the highway though–? It would have been us.

Nothing like a near miss to grant one perspective, eh?