My Cousin "Tavod" Friends Me On Facebook

So… 10 years ago I sent a message and friend request to my cousin, “Tavod.” He never got back to me. But, you know– his 2 sons were just starting college and he was having a mid-life crisis. I could read between the lines and didn’t really mind waiting a bit. But then a decade passed…

I assumed that that part of my mother’s family just wrote me off and left it where it was… an open door untouched.

Then a few weeks ago, Tavod’s mother, my aunt Sharon, friended me on her own. We did a quick exchange via messages about cats and chickens, and then she sort of stopped and so I just left it there because I’m not sure with these people what I might do that may be taken as “wrong.” I’m liberal (mostly) and not Xtian, let alone Mormon, and I’m creative and mostly useless as far as society is concerned.

But maybe some discussion has been happening in the background? He may have realized I was friends with his mom and tried with me– maybe he never saw the friend request. I know it’s easy to miss them if you aren’t checking it. I’ve missed tons over the years, but I eventually check it and figure it all out. Most requests are rejected because they’re from strangers.

Today, he accepted my friend request. =^O

In any event, I’m happy regarding the change. I sent him a friendly “hope you and your family are well” wish and was otherwise noncommittal. I am hopeful, but also full of dread. It feels like the slightest mistake means I’ll be back to exile status in the family. My mother and aunt Dora (Sharon’s sisters) orchestrated that, making sure no one else in the famiy ever heard my side of the 2002 controversy over the infamous “bankcard incident.” So, maybe there’s room to have at least some connection there…

I’m not overly optimistic, though. I’m pretty sure they’ll look at my mostly liberal memes and dump me and that will be the end of that. It will also mean the end of any hope on my part and an acceptance of moving forward in my life without seeing any of them ever again. But all I can do is be real and leave the door open and see what happens. I really don’t know what else I can do. I expect a return to the state of perpetual rejection that I’ve endured for 19 years now. I’m used to it, though. I’m sad, but I reconciled myself to facing a life without family decades ago. I hope I’m being far too pessimistic. They may be decent people who are uncomfortable at my total exile. It’s entirely possible.

Just not probable.