All Ready For Imbolc

One of the biggest challenges of the past 6 months or so has been keeping up with writing my pagan group lesson program when I don’t have much energy to even get out of bed. So… it’s like a race when I finally have both physical energy AND mental focus to get everything caught up enough (like bathing, shopping for food, washing my clothes…) that I can actually sit down and write!

But this week– I got that chance! I wrote my next two lessons out, then edited and rewrote them, over the course of four days and… I am happy with the results!

I haven’t been feeling like I could cognate at the level required to write much for days at a time, or even weeks at a time. There is a fear underneath all that… maybe I’m losing it? I’m losing whatever weird thing makes me a compulsive writer. And that scared the shit out of me, I have to admit. Writing is how I emotional and intellectually process everything.

So… when I get that whatever it is back enough and I manage to actually write again like I used to…? It’s kind of a big deal to me. I’m feeling so damned proud of those two Level 2 lessons it’s almost funny.

I suppose the more challenging it is, the more I cherish it if I’m able to overcome the challenge. I know most people wouldn’t think much of my small victory, but I don’t even care. I’m thrilled!

AND I came up with our rituals for the pagan sabbat (or holy day) so that’s all figured out as well. AND I’m cooking a leg of lamb this weekend! Cat made a rosemary and garlic liquid rub for it (marinade? except it sticks to the meat– coating?) that is amazing and I’m caramelizing some green beans, mushrooms and onions to go with it. I needed a little help, but I’m doing it!

It’s nice not to half-ass something because I’m too tired to function, you know?