Granny Crabapple’s Shocking Penny Pinching Ideas

Poor Man Survival
Self Reliance tools for independent minded people…

http://PoorManSurvivor.net

ISSN 2161-5543
A Digest of Urban Survival Resources

I’ve done so much for so long with so little, that now I can do anything with nothing…Grandma
Granny Crabapple tells you how pinch a penny!

Old Granny could teach the government a thing or two about saving money and how to balance the budget. She is famous for making a dime do the work of a dollar! Here are a few of her top hints…

1. Get rid of the kids! Those little critters are expensive to raise so stop having so many children. They always want this or that expensive electronic toy and parents are usually dumb enough to race out and buy them something which will be in next years’ garage sale. Teach them to read and send them to the library for gosh sake. Tell them to go out and mow a lawn for some neighborhood granny like me…maybe they’ll get a tip [or a boot in the but if they screw up]. And they don’t need those distracting cell phones to sext their friends with. Do you like those $100 a month family plans Verizon offers…put the damn money into an education fund. Kids don’t need cell phones, period! [There, I just saved you more than $100 bucks a month].

You could always sell the little buggers to some gypsies I know!

2. Make your own cleaning stuff. Dump those expensive paper towels and use a rag which can be rewashed a 100 times and make your own all-purpose cleaning liquid by mixing 40% ammonia with lemon scent, 50% water and drop or two of dish soap. Put it into a spray bottle and clean your kitchen and windows for pennies.

3. Dump cable TV or get their cheapest plan. How many stupid episodes of Survivor or the hillbilly channel do you need? Hell, even the news sucks and the networks are just a mouthpiece for the government and you don’t need any more of their propaganda or kool-aid. [Speaking of Kool-Aid, it’s a lot cheaper than those sugary sodas your kids are loading up on…plus they might even lose some of those fat bulges they’re carrying around because they spend too much time playing computer games. Boot them out of the house and lock the door. They’ll learn to play on their own, it comes natural and beside, you need some time to reflect peacefully on how you can take over the world and make it a better place as our two political parties sure haven’t had any success!

Average cost of raising a child hits $245,000 (CNN Money)

More here:

http://poormansurvivorblog.blogspot.com/2014/08/granny-crabapples-shocking-secrets-to.html