The WIRE: Your week in review

From Trump’s bad week to watching the Democrats freak — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest^® presents: The WIRE!

President Donald Trump suffered through what may have been his worst week in the White House when his former minions Michael Cohen and Paul Manafort both hit the wall over tax and financial crimes. Of course, liberals immediately began shrieking about impeachment, as if being a pig who associates with other pigs is an impeachable offense.

“Impeachable? Sure. Convictable? We sure hope not.”

Cohen arranged a hush money payment he didn’t make. Manafort got popped for crimes he committed while Mueller was director of the FBI and Obama was president. How is this going to end the Trump presidency, exactly?

Details are only important to MAGA rubes.

Trump crony David Pecker of tabloid publisher American Media International has reportedly received immunity in return for information he provided to investigators looking into the Michael Cohen case.

How is anyone surprised that a story involving porn stars and playmates also involved a Pecker?

With Manafort and Cohen going down, and Pecker getting immunity, President Trump — as usual — took to Twitter to vent his frustration over “flipping,” which he called “unfair.”

Little snitches get bigly stitches.

While liberals cheered the Cohen and Manafort cases as “proof” that Trump is dirty, I couldn’t help but notice that two years of special counseling, and still no Russian collusion, just Trump acting like Bill Clinton. In the interest of fairness, Trump should have to marry Hillary.

He would resign tomorrow.

Even if they manage to impeach Trump, getting 2/3 of the Senate to vote to convict is more of an uphill battle than getting Nana Hilldawg elected. And even if that works out, guess what happens next? Say hello to President Pence.

Didn’t think this one all the way through, did ya, Dems?

Speaking of illegal campaign contributions, given her campaign’s unprecedented violations of campaign finance laws, it’s a damned good thing for Nana Hilldawg that she lost.

It would be plain old weird if she wore her prison jumpsuit in the Oval Office.

Of course, no one seems to notice that paying hush money to a girlfriend may not be an illegal campaign contribution — or even illegal. But hey, good luck proving it.

Ought to be wrapping up that investigation by the time Ivanka is sworn in for her second term.

Anyone else notice that the “resistance” seems kinda overwrought about throwing Trump out of office? Almost like they still don’t have someone to beat him in 2020.

There’s always — never mind.

Trump and Attorney General Jeff Sessions got into it again this week with Trump complaining about Sessions’ lack of control over the Department of Justice and Sessions proclaiming the DoJ wouldn’t be improperly influenced.

One more public spat like this and they’re not going to the prom together.

Liberals were quick to voice their outrage over the murder of Mollie Tibbetts by an illegal alien, whining about pro-border security people “politicizing” Tibbetts’ murder. Right… because politicizing tragedy is wrong.

Up next on CNN: a town hall blaming the NRA for Parkland.

When Senator Elizabeth Warren sees the murder of Mollie Tibbetts, she sees what she calls “the REAL problem”: so-called “family separations” at the U.S. border with Mexico.

Sorry Mollie, Lieawatha says you’re “fake news.”

Liberals ratcheted up the outrage when an illegal alien was grabbed by ICE while taking his wife to the hospital for a c-section. None seemed interested in why ICE arrested the guy who was wanted for skipping out on a warrant for murder.

As we learned from their Tibbetts reactions, illegal aliens’ comfort > human life.

The “resistance” cheered as multiple Democrat Senators have refused to meet with Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, as if refusing to meet with a guy they already promised to no-vote is brave or noteworthy.

It’s gonna be super awkward when Justice Kavanaugh sits down in front of them at the next State of the Union.

It’s worth noting that the Democrats wouldn’t be throwing such an impotent tantrum if they hadn’t rigged the nomination process themselves.

That high horse looks an awful lot like a petard.

Nana ain’t going away quietly. The 2016 loser announced that she’ll be headlining Democrat fundraisers in Chicago, New York and San Francisco this fall. (But probably not Wisconsin.)

With polls uncertain, Hillary will do her part to boost Republican fortunes in time for midterms.

Hillary isn’t the only Clinton planning to “help” the Democrats. Chelsea Clinton is saying she’s considering a run for office. Democrats have Clintons like locker rooms have shower mold.

Chelsea 2032: Hey! What’s That Smell?

Disgraced former intelligence analyst Reality Winner was sentenced this week to five years in prison for stealing classified information and mailing it to a media outlet; which serves to remind us all: If you’re gonna leak classified intel, do it from the server in your bathroom.

It makes a big difference.

Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has had enough of the Trump show, whining about Republican refusal to betray the president and claiming the GOP mantra should be “put your head in the sand.”

It’s catchy, but I like the Democrats’ mantra better: “Lose.”

And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest^®, I’m Ben Crystal saying, “See you next week, on The WIRE!”

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