The Fig Leaf

These are just two of the reasons you should not listen to theologians.

I’ve read religious analysts debating where Cain’s wife came from if Adam and Eve were the first man and woman. Then, someone theorized that since sisters weren’t mentioned in the Genesis account that perhaps he’d married one of his sisters. That would throw religious history askew and validate the Book of Mormon by proving the Garden of Eden was in Arkansas. Or, he had a fling with his mom, who from what I’ve seen was quite a vixen with that little fig leaf. One might note that Adam’s fig leaf was small also which would explain why Eve left Adam for Cain, who had the ”mark of Cain,” being supposedly a black skin. Small fig leaf, black skin, well, you know.

Then there is the confusion dealt by the double creation story. It says very clearly in Genesis:

Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Then it turns right around in Genesis Chapter Two and states:

Genesis 2:22
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

Now, this produces an issue. If this first passage suggests that Adam and Eve shared the same birthday, perhaps maybe were twins, (back to Arkansas) what’s with the second chick? Was Adam a polygamist? The answer is quite simple if you look on the face of it. Divorce!

Since Genesis was written by the Jews, divorce is the only logical conclusion. Maybe they had a falling out, maybe she wasn’t pleased with Adam’s fig leaf, maybe she ran off with the snake, I don’t know. What I do know is one day she was there, and the next day she was not! And since the Bible is without error we must account for her. I think she was a black chick. Here’s my reasoning. If she were black, and I’m assuming that the snake was, too, and Adam had that fig leaf problem, well? Hey, YOU’RE the one who believes in talking snakes. Dude! Something just occurred to me. The snake messed up Adam’s first marriage, got Eve to have lunch with him, and we already have seen that she most likely ran off with Cain . . . the snake was a PIMP!

The Butcher Shop

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