Tugging at the Tubman Twenty

Ok! I call BS! The Trump administration put the revised twenty dollar bill on hold until Jesus comes back citing “security issues.” What? Are they afraid a black woman might steal our wallets?

This smacks of an incident years ago when Miller Beer company said that adding a health warning about fetal alcohol syndrome to their cans would be cost prohibitive, and then adorned their product with pictures of armadillos and Texas flags.

Now, I’m the first to throw in a Joker when someone plays the race card, but this is blatant. In case you haven’t noticed the twenty HAS been changed. Instead of the dried up old fart that we had for years we now have the new, improved Andrew Jackson. They did a makeover a while back where they spruced up his clothes and gave him a facelift.

What we need to do is revamp the whole shebang! Put Obama on the one dollar bill, Malcolm X on the fiver, Martin Luther King on the ten, Tubman on the twenty, Colin Powell on the fifty, Whoopi Goldberg on the hundred, and in order to be fair, the Late George Bush on the penny. Make him face left, like Lincoln.

Oh, and did you notice the new nickel? Instead of the dignified profile, Hamilton looks like he’s dropping by for a chat. Maybe if he’d have struck that pose he wouldn’t have died in that duel.

It’s amazing that with all the concern about security and cost, spending thirty to forty million looking for Russian Dressing in the White House kitchen didn’t bother Uncle Sammy at all! By the way friends and neighbors, that’s money you WON’T be seeing in your tax refund!

There are so many ways we could use our paper money to deliver a message or serve the public. Instead of notable Americans or dead presidents, why don’t we put registered sex offenders on bills? That way everyone can be on the lookout for them. Instead of flying the Rainbow flag under the Stars and Stripes, let’s just design a three dollar bill and stick it there! That’ll make us the laughing stock of the world? Shucks, we’re already THERE!

I have a solution to the twenty dollar bill issue. My granddaughter is twelve years old, and quite an artist. She’s really good with crayons because we don’t like to let her have anything sharp. Just let her come up with a design and subject of her choice. She’ll pick a subject that will be acceptable to all, and fairly politically correct, and everybody LIKE’S pizza!

The Butcher Shop

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