Clinton Resigns - Tim Kaine 4 President?

This is a leaked “early draft” of a desperate plan to salvage the Democratic presidency: Forget about Hillary Clinton. She’s sunk, on the other hand, Tim Kaine is still on the ballot. We heard from one of the top party officials who is left who told us that as soon as the Comey letter hit, Hillary’s Internal polling went from bad–to nonexistent.

We’re not showing up anywhere. People are so disgusted. Liberals are slamming the phones down–Trump-voters are, well, gleeful. They’re full of passionate intensity. We think this campaign is cooked. We were having a lot of problems with Hillary but we’d thought we were out of the woods on this. I guess leaning all over Comey didn’t work as well as we’d hoped.

When asked what the options were, he told us there basically weren’t any.

President Obama has canceled all his speaking engagements for or with Hillary. Even Michelle is out. We’re less than two weeks out and the word we’re getting from inside the Justice Department is that she could be hauled off in handcuffs within the next 72 hours. 

A bunch of early ballots have been cast–but not nearly enough to save her. Right now there’s only one possible hope: Tim Kaine. The problem is, he’s demanding a ransom.

A what, you ask? A ransom. Apparently Tim Kaine was always only ever willing to campaign with Hillary for an undisclosed large sum of money deposited in a Qatar bank account–something the Clinton Foundation could easily arrange. Now that he is expected to carry her mantle and her baggage, he is apparently holding out for a larger lump sum. Considering that his odds are, at best, characterized as a long shot right now, our source said that donors were less than eager to pitch in. 

Soros is in for a ton of money but we need some bigger donors to keep Kaine on board. Look, I’m not saying I blame him, but he wants a 130-foot yacht–I think he asked for fucking Krugerands. He knows he has the whole progressive Illuminati over a barrel and he’s going to do his best to make them bleed. It’s a dangerous game but, you know, working with Clinton was dangerous too. I guess he’s got balls.

 Asked if he thought Clinton would go quietly, he laughed.

There’s a team of federal marshals across the street from Chelsea’s apartment building with the place under 24-7 surveillance. They’ve got helicopters all over the place and the streets cordoned off. Do I think she’s going to go quietly? Hell no. They’ve got stuff up there. Shit that was going to ISIS. Maybe . . . I don’t know. I’ve heard rockets. Suicide drones packed with C-4. Toxic blow-gun darts?

We’ll keep you posted as this story develops!

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