How to kill a raccoon with a shovel

That’s easy.

You just give it a whack on the head. And then you give it three or four more whacks on the head to make sure it’s down for good.

After all, if that ‘coon got within a shovel length of you… it’s more than likely rabid!

Or it’s a pet, which happens more and more these days.

But better to err on the safe side of a potentially rabid raccoon.

I mention this only because the Farm Manager, in her day job with the local school board, recently experienced a raccoon lock-down.

A raccoon was spotted on the playground.

The lock-down alarm went off. The kids, knowing the drill, all hid under their desks.

Then the admin team swung into action. They called the cops.

Owen Sound’s finest sent out their SWAT team. Wasn’t long before one of their top guns had the offender in his sites. Alas, from point-blank range, he only managed to blow the raccoon’s nose off.

The ‘coon scampered away and took refuge up a tree. Minus half its snout.

The school remained on lock-down till the forces of law and order managed to follow the trail of blood to the sanctuary tree, a matter of several hours, whereupon the SWAT team was finally able to do what any local with a shovel at hand could have done in the first two minutes of this ‘coon encounter.

As I’ve often said, progress isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…