Students Encouraged to Prepare for Exams by Relieving Stress

There was a time when students prepared for exams by studying. These days, that is regarded as too stressful. Fortunately, the absurdly expensive daycare centers we are asked to regard as universities have plenty of alternate means to prepare.

The goal is not to succeed. Succeeding by your own effort makes you a privileged oppressor. Success must be handed to you for belonging to a group that is not expected to achieve. Otherwise, success is a source of guilt and shame.

The goal is to relieve stress. Stress feels bad, and nothing should ever feel bad. Feeling bad is oppressive.

You can relieve stress by retreating into childhood. To facilitate this indulgence, University of Colorado and Michigan State provide therapy dogs to play with. Duke provides therapy ponies.

To help students regress, I mean “de-stress,” universities including Oregon State, Minnesota, and Illinois offer coloring books.

Other time-wasting but allegedly stress-relieving activities that students are encouraged to indulge in rather than study for their exams include brushing cows, receiving a massage, cloud gazing, yoga, snacking on “crepes & cocoa,” jigsaw puzzles, Legos, origami, and esports.

In the past, means of relieving the stress that accrues when students know they ought to be studying have included a Cry Closet at the University of Utah.

Also, University of Pennsylvania has offered Zumba classes and video games. University of Michigan has provided Play-Doh.

Adulthood is not on the syllabus, leave alone excellence.

In China, students study before exams. They don’t suck their thumbs or play with Play-Doh. It won’t be easy to stay ahead of them. There will be a price for falling behind.

On a tip from 1-Bodhisattva.

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