“Bill Clinton: Epstein’s Cause Of Death Depends
On What Your Definition Of ‘Suicide’ Is”
by The Babylon Bee
PHILADELPHIA, PA— “Speaking to a packed 30-seat arena, Bill Clinton remarked on Jeffrey Epstein’s recent passing, saying that Epstein’s cause of death “really depends on what your definition of ‘suicide’ is.” “Did Epstein commit suicide?” asked an attendee at the event. A wide-eyed Clinton shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, it really depends on what your definition of suicide is, heh.”
An awkward silence ensued. Bill turned to look at Hillary for support, but she just glared at him and ran her finger across her throat, a metaphor that means “death.” He went on, “Heh, I mean, well, we’ve got to define terms here, alright? If you mean, ‘Did he hang himself without any outside assistance?’ then I’d say that does not fall under the definition of what may or may not have occurred.”
Hillary held up a pair of finger guns to her husband’s head in a threatening fashion, another metaphor that means “death.” Bill gulped. “But, well, heh, if you mean did he hang himself and then shoot himself three times in the back of the head just to be sure? Then yeah, I’d say he committed suicide.” “Hillary and I did not have murderous relations with that man!” he insisted as Hillary beckoned him backstage.”
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“Did Epstein Own An ‘Extremely Sexual’
Portrait Of Bill Clinton In A Blue Dress?”
by Zero Hedge
“While Little St. James, aka Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘Orgy Island’, has attracted the bulk of the media’s attention since the convicted pedophile/alleged financier was found dead in his Manhattan jail cell Saturday morning, as it turns out, one of the most interesting posthumous Epstein stories comes from his Manhattan Townhouse.
According to the Daily Mail, which has reported on FBI agents searching Epstein’s island (including the creepy ‘Temple’ that some believe was used to house Epstein’s sex slaves) and also revealed the location of Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein’s companion and purported madam who reportedly helped him recruit underage girls, one visitor to Epstein’s Manhattan mansion witnessed a truly twisted work of art: A photo of President Bill Clinton wearing a blue dress and red heels in the Oval Office.
Click image for larger size.
The DM can’t say for sure that the portrait hung in Epstein’s home, but it apparently found multiple sources to back up the story, and was also given a snap of the portrait by one of its sources. Clinton and Epstein were friends (even if Clinton denounced any association with Epstein after his first sex-charge investigation) for a while during the aughts, and Epstein even flew him on his planes more than 20 times.
The Daily Mail’s anonymous tipster managed to surreptitiously snap a photo of the Clinton portrait, and she shared it with the Mail. Though Clinton has insisted that he never visited Epstein’s island, one of Epstein’s accusers, Virginia Roberts, claims she saw Clinton on the island for a dinner held in his honor shortly after he left office.
As for the “extremely sexual” portrait which obviously recalls Monica Lewinsky’s infamous blue dress, the source of the photo said she was inside Epstein’s home for around an hour and a half for a meeting, which had been arranged by the pedophile’s then-assistant Lesley Groff.
Groff has been named as a possible accomplice in the New York case – AG William Barr has said the DoJ would prosecute alleged Epstein accomplices. She was granted immunity in Epstein’s controversial plea deal in 2008. “We had been in communication with Lesley Groff. She was the person who coordinated our meeting,” the Mail’s source said.
“We were met at the door of Epstein’s penthouse by a butler. He had a real butler – an old gentleman who walked with a limp. He led us to Lesley’s circular office. She was beautiful and fabulous and so nice and bubbly. Then she led us into Epstein’s private quarters which is when we passed by the open door and the portrait.”
“We went into his dining room and spoke to him about the proposal.” The source said she immediately got a creepy vibe from Epstein, and hoped she wouldn’t end up doing business with him. “He came out in pajamas. He wasn’t messy but he had on a white t-shirt, pajama bottoms and bare feet. He was very grey and he looked creepy. He looked like a villain to me. I immediately knew we didn’t want to do business with him, despite wanting the contract. I knew he would bury us if something went wrong.” But fortunately, the proposal fell through and she never worked with the billionaire.”
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