Profile image
Story Views
Last Hour:
Last 24 Hours:

Ten Ways To Avoid Becoming A Patsy

% of readers think this story is Fact. Add your two cents.


( Step Five. Make sure your complexion cannot be darkened to resemble a Muslim.)

An increasingly common pitfall
of modern life is being blamed for
a CIA false flag. These practical
steps will help you avoid being caught
in this difficult position.

by Henry Makow, Ph.D.

Modern life presents someunique challenges.STD’s. Student loans. Bank seizing your assets,  etc.  None greater is the danger of becoming a patsy. This short article will help you avoid being the subject of a massive, televised manhunt leading to being butchered in the street.

You see, being a Patsy means you cannot be arrested and tried in a Court of Law. You cannot be allowed to speak piblicly. That would defeat the whole purpose.

Step Number One:  This is my most important piece of advice: Do not under any circumstances agree to participate in a “drill” designed to test precautions against “a terror attack.”  No matter how much money they offer, or how much they appeal to your patriotic instincts, this is a “sorry, no-can-do.”

Step Number Two:   Convert to Judaism. Patsies are never Jews. Your local synagogue can provide information on the conversion process.

(left, patsies do not have to look menacing)

Step Number Three:  Patsies can be teenagers. If you are a teenager, or even a child, do not assume you are safe.

Step Number Four:  Question your gender. Perhaps you are a homosexual. This is another foolproof protection against becoming a patsy.  If you are still in school, join a “gay-straight alliance.” They will help you in the conversion process.

Step Number Five:  If you cannot become a Jew or a homosexual, at least establish your liberal bona fides. Let slip that you voted for Barrack Obama, read the New York Times, and watch Jon Stewart and SNL religiously.

Step Number Six:  Lighten your complexion. There are cosmetic products that will help you. Avoid suntans. You should not be mistaken for a Muslim. Your life depends on it.

Step Number Seven:  Prepare a plan to follow in case, despite having taken the above precautions, you find yourself the subject of a door-to-door manhunt. When the bullets are flying, saying “I’m a patsy” won’t cut it. You will also need a hideout that is better than a sailboat in a backyard. 

Step Number Eight: Make burial arrangements in advance. When the public has been incited to believe you are the incarnation of evil, funeral directors will have a hard time accepting your business.


(left, the Patron Saint of Patsies)

Step Number Nine - Study the lives of great patsies in modern history. Lee Harvey Oswell. Timothy McVeigh. Osama Bin Laden. James Holmes. Adam Lanza. What mistakes did they make that you can avoid? Certainly, one is getting involved on the periphery with the CIA, FBI or a CIA-FBI front group.

Step Number Ten - Avoid friendly strangers with deep pockets who offer to arrange foreign travel and adventure for you and your friends. 

I welcome other suggestions from readers for sidestepping this common pitfall.



Support BeforeitsNews by trying our natural health products! Join our affiliate program

APeX - Far superior to colloidal silver in destroying viruses, bacteria and other pathogens.
Ultimate Curcumin - Natural pain relief, reduce inflammation and so much more.
Supreme Fulvic - Nature's most important supplement! Vivid Dreams again!  See Testimonials
MitoCopper - First bioavailable copper destroys pathogens and gives you more energy.
Prodovite - The Secret To Healing is in the Blood! Complete absorption in 5 minutes.

Report abuse


    Your Comments
    Question   Razz  Sad   Evil  Exclaim  Smile  Redface  Biggrin  Surprised  Eek   Confused   Cool  LOL   Mad   Twisted  Rolleyes   Wink  Idea  Arrow  Neutral  Cry   Mr. Green

    Total 6 comments
    • enforcer666

      jeff rense might of had a point banning this cheb end from his website, become gay, convert to Judaism, what load of toss the only valid point on there is point 1

    • Palin Supporter

      I clicked on this link because I thought it said ‘Ten Ways to Avoid Becoming a Pussy, not Patsy’. I’m 65 and just wanted to see if there were some new tricks (no pun intended) out there. :roll:

    • AxisOfEvil

      Can your next article be: Ten ways to avoid become a brain dead d-bag like Henry Makow?

      I would that!

      On second thought, i wouldn’t….. I just have to not be a racist homophobic closeted gay guy, and i’ll avoid being like you.

    • meanoldlion

      boooaaaahaahaahaaaay!……….you is a riot!!!

    • Anonymous

      Mehh! Several million Jews were patsies during WW2.

      And how does the writer know he is NOT a patsy?

      And how do we know he is not playing YOU as a patsy?

      How do you know I am not playing you against him as a patsy.

      Mehh, everything is a lie. About 99% of it. Everything! Especially phony taxes and your phony leaders with their phony ideas.

    • sten

      Anyfool who believes he is participating in a “dril” l like they did is a fool because if someone said to me we want you to “act as a terrorist” THE FIRST THING I WOULD BE THINKING IS “why” when they have so many willing soldiers ready to “dress up and play the part”. When I was in the army my IO called me in and said “you have certain skills that we find interesting and we have a special unit that I believe you would fit into very nicely, you have till 4 to decide” and what screamed out at me is “I do not have and never have had any skills that would interest anyone, I have an IQ less than 120 so I am not exactly clever but I am clever enough to know I was about to be set up” within 24 hours my “career” was over. Like spoilt children I was “services no longer required” which kinda stinks but better alive than dead I say.




    Email this story
    Email this story

    If you really want to ban this commenter, please write down the reason:

    If you really want to disable all recommended stories, click on OK button. After that, you will be redirect to your options page.