Little Miss Sunshine
When I was growing up, I was considered the Happy child. My nick name was
and still is Sunshine. Always smiling, laughing… Always pleasing to others.
As time went on, I began to hide my feelings because of the pressure and
consistent expectation of being happy, I could never be upset… I then
began to look for ways to express myself in subliminal ways… Acting became my
vice.
shining… But on the inside there were clouds and storms brewing just waiting
to erupt. But since I was a people pleaser… I never wanted to share my
burdens with anyone, not even my family. I just kept it quiet and to myself…
Throughout my teenage and young adult years I dealt with depression,anxiety,
and image issues… But eventually I could no longer conceal.
feel amazing or think I was beautiful I continued to suppress the
“real” Krystal, with this fake confidence.. Outgoing personality,
smiling, friendly, always someone willing to help. But one day it all fell
apart, the truth was revealed, no longer could I hide how hurt or how low I
truly felt. Even though I came from a close knit family, they saw me as
their joy.. And if I fell apart, they would fall apart. What is often neglected
these days in families are the realities of mental illness such as depression
and anxiety…
was, but never fully put my Trust in Him. When I moved to Dallas 4 yrs
ago, I feel that God took me away from my comfort zone and put me in a place
where my focus would not waiver. What I am learning on this journey thus far..
Is that God will not allow you to bare your burdens,He will carry them for you.
He may take you through a series of storms so that you can truly experience and
appreciate the sunshine. I had been so worried about being honest on who I
was…I forgot how much God loves me, and how He is walking with me, and that
it’s ok to show emotion. It’s ok to not always be little miss sunshine..
He continues to show me is that when I let go and let Him do what He does best
the less I worry, the more I gain a true sense of self, the more I begin to
Love me for How He created me. To those of you who struggle with being Who God
has created you to be, just know its a journey He is taking you on, not a
destination. Each day allow yourself to enjoy the moments… Let each moment
count. Don’t focus so much time and energy on trying to be someone your not.
Instead, embrace who you are, talkative or shy, introverted or extroverted,
dreamer or a doer…. Wherever you may fall, the best thing you can do is Trust
in Christ and let Him help you grow into the person you were destined to be.
Source: http://www.thetruthbowl.com/index.html?entry=little-miss-sunshine
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