I figured out the Noah movie…

I’ve read a few reviews of the new Noah movie now, most of which express some combination of incredulity and irritation at the – shall we say – “creative license” that they took with the well-known Biblical story of the guy who built a gigantic boat and gathered up critters two by two because God told him it was going to rain.

(FYI, the absolute best, IMHO, is Erick Erickson’s hysterical review at RedState, in which he says “I am not kidding.” about a hundred times as he takes you step-by-step through the magical creatures, inexplicably out-of-character decisions by various people, unicorn genocide, and other oddities.)

Well, I think I figured it out.

Critters made of stone with unknown motivations? An adorably dorky (or, adorkable, if this were a Tumblr blog) girl with reddish brown hair who causes major conflict when she wants to get married? Sudden extreme weather causing massive devastation?

They’re remaking Frozen. 

Rock monsters…errrr, trolls

Did she pick up this tool on Tinder? Geez.

A snowstorm is just a frozen flood, basically.

Can you blame them? The animated film responsible for getting “Let It Go” stuck in everyone’s heads for months has earned over a billion dollars worldwide and DVD sales just began.

Hollywood: Recycling the same old crap since 1912.