Feds Raid Grow Op at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave

Federal agents today stormed a home in Washington, D.C. and seized marijuana plants worth an estimated $180,000.  The seizure marks a months-long investigation by officers in numerous local and federal law enforcement agencies into an illegal marijuana plantation set at historic 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in the nation’s capital.

At least four were arrested, including a black woman who is believed to be Michele Obama, a known lawyer and agitator from Chicago, Illinois.  Others include a gardener and two armed bodyguards who claimed to be members of the Secret Service – a suspected underground gang of thugs sworn to protect their notorious leader, POTUS, even to the death.

The ringleader’s husband, also named Obama (Barack Obama, aka Barry Soetoro), is wanted for questioning in connection to the grow op and is believed to be hiding out in a flying fortress known as AF1.

“The ‘White House Organic Garden’ became a target of inquiry after an informant let us know that they were growing (quote) medical cannabis (unquote),” said Special Agent Frank Drebin of the Drug Enforcement Agency.  “When The Daily Dose.. er.. our informant let us know about the possible grow op here, we sent agents to investigate.  After several weeks of failed infiltration attempts, we finally caught a break when Mrs. Obama was seen through telescopic camera to be caring for marijuana plants in her garden,” the agent said in a press conference.

Fifteen agencies, four armored vehicles, three SWAT teams, and a special appearance by police volunteer and reality TV host Steven Segal and his Police tank rushed the gates and fences surrounding the White House compound in his police tank.

“The garden was very well protected,” said Agent Drebin.  “They had blast barriers, a 14-foot metal fence reinforced with concrete, a long expanse of open lawn where we were sitting ducks to their return fire, and a helicopter for a quick escape.  Luckily, we arrested the principle suspects before they could retreat into one of their known, on-site, deeply fortified bunkers.”

One agent was critically wounded in the fracas, after a misfired Taser wand failed to subdue a fiercely-trained guard dog named Bo, hitting the agent instead.  Inside sources say the dog bit the agent’s prone and defenseless body, mangling his genitalia.

From all of us here at CannaCentral..  APRIL FOOLS!