Obama is a Citizen: I Am His Twin Sister
You read it correctly, folks! I am Obama’s fraternal twin sister. I am the product of Mrs. Obama’s almost-failed IVF procedure back in the 60′s. The doctors and nurses acting as a team accidentally injected one of Mrs. Obama’s egg cells with sperm from a white male and then implanted them into her. Not only am I Barack Obama’s twin sister, I am his white twin sister!
Up until today, I have been receiving a tidy sum to keep this information quiet. I myself did not learn of it until I was 17, when my parents confessed that they weren’t my parents. They told me I had a multiracial twin brother living in Hawaii. Since they could not afford to send me to Hawaii to visit personally, I wrote Barack several letters encouraging us to meet.
Barack didn’t acknowledge me until his political career was under way. At that point, I was invited to meet Barack and his wife Michelle in Chicago. Michelle is very nice, by the way. We worked out and cooked together on the night I arrived. Barack has been paying me $25,000 a month to keep this quiet. Now I must break my silence, because quite frankly $25,000 is nothing compared to what news outlets will pay for this material. I may even get my own talk show!
Barack didn’t believe me at first, but then we had our DNA tested and it showed that his mother was a match to mine. He made me promise to never speak of this again. I have waited as long as I can. I have decided to share this news here first because this is Before It’s News. Tomorrow, it will be news because I have scheduled a press conference in Exeter, MO for 1 PM Central with Fox News.
I can attest to Barack’s citizenship because I have my birth certificate from the United States. Barack hasn’t been showing his since to do so would alert others to my existence. He must have been born in the U.S. too because Mrs. Obama couldn’t be in two places at the same time, could she? Thank you for reading this. All further questions will be answered tomorrow.
Sincerely,
April Fool’s!
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