"What If" Wanda
When I was a kid I had an (one only) imaginary friend named Mary. As I look back on it, I am pretty sure I didn’t really think Mary was a real person but she certainly came in handy when I needed to change the focus of a conversation.
Example:
Parent: “ Cheryl did you pick up your room like I asked you to?”
Me: “No, but Mary was bothering me.”
Parent to other Parent: There is something seriously wrong with Cheryl. Perhaps we need to take her to a doctor.
Seems that the messy room has taken a backseat to their “bigger” problem. See how imaginary friends can work to switch focus. Let’s just look at it as a coversational traffic cop.
Things have changed over the years and Mary has been out of my life for a very long time. Although, lately I have been thinking of the advantages of having a new imaginary friend come for a visit. Not to blame for the “things left undone”. Let’s face it, no one…. real or imaginary, could handle that amount of blame.
Thought Number One….Bad Drivers Make Me Crazy
Since then, I have had several other occasions to see the other unfortunate people that were unlucky enough to have “bad parker person” next to them.
Usually, when I have the pleasure of seeing one of these crazies, the offender is nowhere in sight. However, last week that was not case. I was working on getting my younger grandchild strapped
into his car seat on the rear passenger side of my SUV when I notice
Why would this irritate me? Here’s the deal. There were HARDLY ANY OTHER cars in the entire lot…yet “big SUV” needs to be right next to me. So I hurried, got little guy strapped in and “this wicked person
As I sit in my car fummmmiiiinnnng, this wicked, wicked, woman (who I might add looked eerily similar to Mrs Wiggins on the old Carol Burnette Show) squeezed and contorted her ample body to get out of her Yukon.
Are you wondering why I just didn’t back out and let her exit her vehicle with the ease and grace of a normal person. Because, I could sit there and make her suffer, that’s why.
It takes a special person to park on top of you in a lot that is WIDE OPEN. |
Thought Number Two… I Am Crazy and I Now Have Another Imaginary Friend
So what does this have to do with imaginary friends, your asking??? I have now resurrected an imaginary friend for the sole purpose of dealing with irritating people around me. Meet “Take-It-Back” Wanda. Wanda is my new Fairy Godmother of sorts. However, she insists that I refer to her as my Fairy “Sista” as she is too young to be called someone’s mother, especially someone that is oldish, like me. So Wanda is going to cruise around with me and when someone pisses me off with their total lack of driving skill she will hop out and either make them “undo” their wicked behavior (hence the whole “take-it-back” part or she will zap them with her fairy bat and give them some bad joo joo. Nothing like a little bad karma to set the world right.
This isn’t a picture of the actual cars involved as I have already admitted how I screwed up and failed to get it on camera. Still…this pic will give you the general idea. |
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