How I Fight the Blues and Up All Night

Over the last week people around the interwebs have shared (and are still sharing) their own, or someone they know and love’s, struggles with depression. In the wake of Robin William’s untimely death, I think we’re all reflecting and introspecting a bit more than usual.

Basically, the world has been rocked. And it’s an excellent opportunity to discuss a profound subject that isn’t always easy to do. Our friends at #NALitChat were quick to tackle the subject of artists and depression by hosting their usual weekly Twitter chat with audio last Thursday night at 9pm Eastern. Many resources were given, so if you missed it and are interested, please check it out HERE.

On a side note, Robin Williams was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, and depression is one of the many symptoms that coincides with the disease.However, he’d struggled with depression over the years, as well as bouts of substance abuse.

While I’m no expert on the subject, I share the same struggles as anyone else, and here is where I share a few of my basics when it comes to fighting the blues:

* Learn to embrace sadness when it comes, but learn to recognize the difference between a healthy sadness and an infinite one. 

What I mean is, its okay to be sad sometimes. It’s part of who we are and it’s an element of human nature. It seems like there’s a misconception that we’re not supposed to be sad so we have to nip it quickly, or find help and pretend we’re okay…. put on our game face. Why do we feel the need to run from sadness? Sorrow makes us real, and it fills us with empathy for other people.

I feel like it’s healthy to embrace sadness when it comes. The only way is through, not around. And it’s only after this affair with sadness that we can move on. Numbing it over as soon as it hits does nothing but teach us how to avoid real emotion. Sadness is life’s reminder for us to reach out to our fellow human beings–to let us know we need each other, and that no one can do all of it alone.

–> Important note: Sadness does and should end naturally after a certain period of time. It’s organic for our brains to let go and move on in order to seek contentment. If this isn’t happening on its own, this is an indicator that something is off balance inside and a doctor should be consulted. And it’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. So so many artists struggle with depression.

Which brings me to my next point:

* Find a support network.

Not just any group, but one that makes you feel positive about yourself, and one who you can trust. The best groups are made up of peers who are in the same boat–with the same core beliefs and interests, and ones who are willing to share knowledge and encouragement. Here are a few of my faves:

Insecure Writers Support Group
#NALitChat on Twitter
Daydreamers Anonymous
Writers Support 4U

There are many others–more than I can list, and these above are some that welcome ALL writers regardless of what you write, or how you’re published. If a group doesn’t have the vibe you’re looking for, leave. It’s that simple. I’ve been in and out of many, and it’s not worth spending time in a group where you’re not celebrated for who you are.

Having a tribe of writer friends is an absolute must in this biz of writing and publishing, and if you have questions feel free to email me privately. I’m always available via email and will help however I can.

*Find something else that grounds you.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Writing is our passion, yes, but there is more to life than writing and art. Matter of fact, art only becomes better when it’s a reflection of real life, so we have to be out there living. We need something that grounds us outside of our little niche worlds. For me, it’s family and faith. It keeps everything in perspective.

I heard a quote the other day that said, “Sometimes you have to step back and ask yourself, ‘Am I too close?’”

We should all make it a point to do that on a regular basis.

* Find a way to help someone else.

There is nothing in this world that mends a broken heart like that of helping someone else in need. It’s part of shifting that perspective to the bigger picture. I try to remind myself when I’m feeling the blues how many other people out there would trade places with me in a heartbeat. And it doesn’t matter how bad off you may think you have it, there is always someone else out there who has it worse.

Go to a nursing home, or children’s home, or hospital and you will see them. Those people would give anything to wallow in the misery of their artist’s life in lieu of what they’re currently going through.

There is always something we can do for others, and when we do, it’s a natural release of endorphins that create happiness. It’s how our bodies are made up. And while those who suffer from a chemical imbalance may not experience these natural highs, it doesn’t hurt to try.

*Soak up the sun.

I know, I know–easy for me to say when I live in the Sunshine State. But the sun reaches every part of our world–some more than others–and the key is to know the best times to get your dose of serotonin. It’s another natural vitamin that helps fight the blues and it’s right outside available to us most every day. It’s so easy to stay locked away in our writer’s caves creating and keeping deadlines, but our health is so much more important. Even if it’s only fifteen minutes a day, make the time to soak up a little sunshine. One of life’s natural mood enhancers.

* Forget perfection. 

It just doesn’t exist. Killing ourselves trying to find it is moot. I read an awesome quote the other day that just totally hit home: “There is no perfect book–only lessons learned and the next book.”

How true is that?? We can only take what we’ve learned from the last book we wrote and write another one and hope it’s a little better. And this applies to every writer at any stage of their career.

*Exercise

I try to bike 30 minutes every day. I walk the neighborhood twice a day with the dog. And I do lots of stretches throughout the day. There are days when I don’t want to do any of it, but I force myself because I know it always makes me feel better. It’s part of that bigger perspective thing, and it forces me to concentrate on my body other than my thoughts and deadlines and daily stresses.

So these are just a few ways I fight the blues. And I feel them same as anyone else.

Please reach out if you ever find yourself in a deep dark place. Help is all around, but we don’t always know when someone needs our help. It’s human nature to need other people, and we all feel better inside when we’re able to help others.

Off the subject, but here’s something I’m excited about:

Revealing the cover for a new adult romance box set that’s sure to keep you up all night reading.It’s launching on iBooks for only .99. Wowsers! That’s 10 amazing authors and fantastic reads for a buck! (with yours truly included)

You can preorder only on iBooks HERE.

Add it to your GoodReads list HERE.

  UP ALL NIGHT will keep you up ‘til dawn with romantic stories featuring whip-smart college guys, bad boy rock stars, heroic marines, a sexy teacher, and a smokin’ hot snowboarder.