Chinese girls selecting life partners: what do they really want?

We can all dream about finding our perfect life partner—and Chinese girls are no exception.

In these modern times of “instant everything” courtesy of the internet, a variety of social media such as WeiBo or Twitter, plus various communication apps such as Line or WhatsApp, Chinese girls are faced with far greater choices than ever before about a prospective boyfriend or husband.

So much more information is immediately available about a prospective partner these days: for example, you can check out his social behavior on his WeiBo page or his professional background on Linkedin.

In addition to looking locally for a boyfriend or life partner, with the advent of greater freedom to travel plus greater, more varied opportunities to study overseas at Universities in the US or UK, many more Chinese girls are also coming into contact with foreign men and it’s no real surprise in the huge increase in many such men taking Asian wives.

Still, let’s get back to the main point: what do Chinese women really look for in their prospective life partner?

In short, it seems fair to say that, when looking for and deciding upon a mate, Chinese women display an almost equal measure of emotion and pragmatism. Emotion in the form of love and desire, and pragmatism in the sense of wanting to make sure that the man in question can meet her requirements in terms of her financial needs and wants.

This latter point about finances has always been a key tenet of selecting a partner for Chinese girls, often due to pressure from families wanting to ensure that their daughter has picked “Mr Right”—and not only for the benefit of her emotional well being but also sometimes for business reasons where the union of two people and their families could lead to business benefits to both sides!

Over recent years, several key surveys and studies have been conducted on Chinese girls of different social, educational and age levels to try to ascertain what, indeed, a Chinese girl looks for in a potential husband. In fact, it has been found that the same key requirements apply no matter whether the survey respondents have been Chinese girls from the mainland, Hong Kong Girls or Taiwanese girls.

However, a lot has changed in China over the past 10-15 years, as have the attitudes of Chinese girls as to what they want in a spouse—such changes can be partially explained by China’s rapid economic growth and, sadly, the soaring divorce rate.

Still, in no particular order, here are some of the key points most Chinese girls look for in a life-partner:

Stability and dependability: Chinese girls are really looking a future spouse who is going to remain committed to them for the long haul. They want a man of good character and balanced temperament who is not going to leave them in 15 years for a younger woman, or as soon as he can afford to do so

Career/profession/educational level: to many Chinese girls this is a deeply ingrained cultural norm, with an extremely high value placed on the importance of education. In fact, most Asian girls consider career or profession and educational level as more important than appearance in mate selection

Family background: the social status of a future spouse is also be highly important to Chinese girls and this neatly links in to the ability for a man to “take care” of her both emotionally and financially

Physical appearance: physical appearance is not always of paramount importance for even beautiful Chinese girls. However, it is also true that many Chinese girls do evaluate a man’s physical appearance more than their Western counterparts, and then they tend to focus on individual facial features and other characteristics rather than on the overall appearance.

Health: is considered by Asian wives to be a very important asset in a future husband, and many females do not want to date or marry a man who smokes; a smaller proportion of Chinese girls also prefer a man who doesn’t drink at all, even socially. Perhaps surprisingly, many Chinese girls have a much higher tolerance for men who are overweight as, in the past, this was associated with prosperity.

Physique: many Chinese girls like men who are in good shape and well-toned, although not if their muscles are too large; similarly, well-tanned or dark skinned men are not favored. There is, however, a noticeable difference in the attitudes of overseas born Chinese girls who often actually prefer dark-haired, muscular, dark skinned men.

Despite all of the personal likes and dislikes which Chinese girls may have, approval by the family of the prospective husband still remains a big issue. Marriage in much of Asia, even today, is still something of a joint venture between parents and child and many daughters will not go ahead without their family consent.

Still, the way attitudes are rapidly changing, it will be very interesting to see the results of any future study or survey.