Dating Chinese Girls: Separating Fact From Fiction

Source: China Hush

In recent years, relationships between Chinese women and Western men have become increasingly common.

Today, you can’t help but notice mixed race couples almost everywhere when you are in China or other Asian counties.  It may seem old-fashioned, but it wasn’t long ago that the families of some Chinese girls actually forbade their daughters to talk to, never mind get involved with, a man not of their own ethnicity.

It is obvious that this thinking has changed in many Chinese families.  Now, Chinese women are dating and marrying foreign men in ever greater numbers.  Which leads us to ask why Chinese girls are so interested in foreign men?

• There are a number of reasons, but a few of the biggest include:
  Career oriented Chinese girls often feel repressed in their own culture and want a man who will treat her as an equal and encourage her career and lifestyle.  This is far more acceptable in Western culture.
• Some Chinese girls choose to pursue a career for a few years between graduating and marrying.  By the time they decide to settle down, many of these girls are considered too old for Asian men.  Western men are less concerned about age and appreciate a woman who is well-educated.

Some Tips for Western Men Interested in Dating a Chinese Girl

Chinese etiquette is highly nuanced and it can be easy to offend a Chinese girl or her family unintentionally.  So what should a Western man know about dating a Chinese woman?

Even when you’re dating someone very similar to yourself, misunderstandings are bound to occur.  This is even more true when you’re dating someone from a completely different background.  In most cases, a little awareness and common sense can go a long way toward preventing serious issues and resolving issues that may arise.

Here are some things to keep in mind when becoming involved in a Chinese woman:

• Do not meet a Chinese girl’s parents until you decide the relationship is serious.  Even if the relationship is casual, you should still inquire about their health, as well as anything else she may have mentioned.  This shows her you’ve been listening and are interested in her and her family.
• Don’t try to garner attention in social situations.  Family is central to Chinese culture, so you want to earn the respect of your girlfriend’s family and friends.  Be courteous and modest, even if this is not typical of you.
• The concept of “face” is an important part of Chinese etiquette and refers roughly to dignity and social value.  Awareness of giving and receiving face will help you avoid offending your potential in-laws.
  Avoid topics such as politics or other discussions that could be contentious or seen as disrespectful to the family.
• Keep your tone respectful and avoid swearing or expressing anger.  Chinese girls dislike hot tempers and an angry outburst could cost you the relationship.
• Don’t drink to excess and avoid smoking and drugs.

Traditional vs Modern Chinese Girls

Choosing a girl to date, Chinese or any other ethnicity, is based strongly on emotion and is not the same as deciding what to have for lunch.  Attraction is based partly on physical beauty and partly on inner feelings.

Secondary to physical attraction and suitability as a partner is the question of whether your Chinese girlfriend is more traditional or more modern.  Let’s explore some of the differences between traditional and modern Chinese girls.

Modern Chinese girls are typically more:

• outgoing,
• independent, both financially and emotionally,
• career oriented,
• educated,
• able to live and travel alone

Traditional Chinese women are more:

• family oriented,
• studious,
• relatively shy and humble
• deferential.

Of course, no Chinese girl fits perfectly into either of these molds, but almost no one perfectly fits the stereotype of their culture.  What you will probably find is that any Chinese girl you meet will possess characteristics of both the “modern Chinese girl” and the “traditional Chinese girl” and are more of a blend.

Common Characteristics of Chinese Girlfriends

As unique as Chinese girls are on the surface, once you get to know one and she decides you’re worth spending time with, you may find her similar to many other women.

As you both get over your initial shyness and get to know each other’s preferences, you’ll find her to be a completely different person as she gets to be more comfortable with you.

As you spend time with your Chinese girl, she’ll gain confidence in her skill with the English language and you may find her quick to scold you in English.  Your job is to avoid giving her cause to do so!
She will also become more comfortable with public displays of affection.  She may be more comfortable touching you, holding your hand, or laying her head on your shoulder.

What is certain is that relationships between Chinese girls and foreign men is a trend that began many years ago, but has just recently become common enough for it to be prominent in many parts of the world. For more information about dating Asian women, you can visit the website: Love Asian Women