How to Compliment Chinese Women

Source: China Hush

The idea of talking to Chinese girls is quite intimidating for many Western guys.  The Chinese culture seems so different from Western culture; it can be easy to inadvertently offend a Chinese girl, even when attempting to compliment her.  Learning how to compliment a Chinese girl in a way that doesn’t offend her can be your first step in persuading her to let you take her on a date, or even starting a relationship.  Let’s talk about how to compliment a Chinese girl in the right way.

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Some Things to Keep in Mind when Complimenting Chinese Girls

The first rule is one that is important when complimenting any girl, and that is to be specific.  Chinese girls will be blown away if, instead of simply telling her she’s beautiful, you tell her that her dress really brings out her eyes.  Find something small that can be used to make a broader compliment.

With Chinese girls, you can’t be afraid to exaggerate.  If you pay an understated compliment, such as “nice blouse”, it is likely to be brushed off as simple politeness.  Instead, tell her how beautiful her outfit is on her.  Be enthusiastic about your compliment and make sure she knows how much you admire her.

Be persistent.  Asian women are quite shy and will attempt to dismiss your compliment, usually by saying “哪里哪里” “nǎ​li​ nǎ​li”, which translates to “where, where?”  If you hear this, be sure to reiterate your compliment.

Complimenting Chinese Girls

Generally speaking, complimenting a Chinese girl on her personality or actions will mean more to her than a compliment about her appearance.  If she makes a joke, compliment her wit, but avoid telling her she’s funny, as it has negative connotations in the Chinese language and could be taken as an insult.  If she says something interesting, compliment her intelligence, and if she does something goofy, be sure to tell her she’s cute.  A compliment that many Chinese girls love to hear is,  “你很可爱！” “nǐ　hěn　kě​　ài＂ (you are so cute!).  Be sure to learn some other phrases to use as well, you don’t want to sound repetitive or insincere by using the same one too often.

Offering your compliment in Chinese will really impress the girl you are talking to.  If you really want to win her over, tell her you learned it just for her.  If you speak Chinese well, consider learning some 成语chéng​yǔ (idiomatic phrases) to use to compliment her.  These can be quite powerful, but have very specific definitions and can be difficult to use properly.

Warning: Three Things to Avoid

When you are talking with a Chinese lady, be very careful to avoid joking, sarcasm, and cheesy pickup lines.  These are likely to earn you little more than a blank stare, especially if you are speaking English with her. These kinds of things will easily go wrong. Chinese women do not get used to using or hearing that kind of language and she usually will not understand your point.  Even if you are speaking Chinese, you are more likely to elicit hurt feelings than anything else.  

Just like with Western girls, every Chinese girl is different and will respond differently, but you should get mostly positive responses.  Last thing, be confident and sincere.  She’ll be able to tell if you aren’t.  Try out what you’ve learned and good luck!