My Big Chinese Wedding

Today’s article is dedicated to all the people who have asked me what a Chinese wedding is like, if it really lasts a week, what the bride wears, is there a dragon dance, and thousands of other questions I can’t remember.

No, I’m not going to tell you about my wedding. Why would I want to talk about how ridiculous I was during my wedding when I can talk about other people?

The invitation

My story starts on a random November day, when I get home from a “hard day’s work” and Luna (my girlfriend), comes up to me and tells me:

“The first Friday in December you’re not going to work!”
“No? Why?,” I respond.
“We’ve been invited to a wedding and we’re the godparents!”
“OK, who’s getting married?”
“My best friend from my hometown is getting married!”
“Who’s she marrying? The last time we visited she didn’t have a boyfriend, right?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s a guy she met five months ago.”

“Holy shit, that’s what I call an express relationship. Is that the secret to marriage? Not worrying too much about who you let in your bed? And most of all, what’s the point of looking for a suitable partner when your parents can do the work for you?” I think, but don’t say, as to not offend her.

The trip

Being the godparents of the bride, in the end we are obliged to arrive one day early to participate in the wedding rehearsal. So, Thursday morning we head to Luna’s “town.”

The so-called town is no more than one of those tiny places in China that only has a little more than five million inhabitants. Specifically, I am referring to Jiaozuo in the Henan province, famous for being the birthplace of Taiji.

In the middle of the afternoon, we arrive at the wedding hotel, after more than six hours of traveling:

First, we spent four comfortable hours on the bullet train to the closest city, Xinxiang, two hours on a bus, which in this area tend to leave when they feel like it, and finally, twenty minutes in a taxi. Mission accomplished!

The rehearsal

Arriving at the hotel, we head to the reception hall, where the wedding agency is preparing the decorations for the big day. Good God! I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so tacky…

It would be hard to describe Chinese people’s strange idea of what a romantic atmosphere is (see photo to get an idea). What catches my attention the most is that right in the middle of the aisle that the bride has to go down, they decided to place an altar with classical Greek-style cardboard columns.

When we enter the room, my white devil face causes the expected effect in these latitudes of the interior of China. Not more than two seconds go by before everyone in the room is staring at me.
Source: http://www.saporedicina.com/english/my-big-chinese-wedding/