A Catholic support program for the children of divorced parents

According to a study presented in 2024, in Spain much like in many other countries, “the approximate probability of a marriage ending in divorce is around 50%.” This is a reality that affects the society at large, and one from which the Catholic Church is not exempt.

The same study also found that in Spain specifically, the percentage of couples marrying in the Catholic Church is down 83% since 1975.

To address the high divorce rate, the Family Guidance Center (COF, by its Spanish acronym) of the Diocese of Cuenca has developed the Niño equilibrista (Child Equilibrist) program which, following a mutual support group model, provides care for the children of separated and divorced parents.

Marta Guillén Tena, director of the COF, explained in an interview with ACI Prensa, the Spanish-language sister service of EWTN News, that the program’s name alludes to the “balancing of loyalties” that a child must deal with when their parents separate, a process that also often involves a legal dispute in which the child is caught in the middle.

“They need to have enough freedom and awareness to know that they can love both their father and their mother equally,” she noted. The children “basically need to feel heard and have their pain acknowledged,” as well as to convey to them that their parents, “come what may, will always be their parents.”

The situation of these children poses a challenge for the Church, given that it preaches the sanctity of marriage and its indivisible unity. What the children go through also presents difficulties when it comes to explaining to them the concept of God the Father.

“Child Equilibrist,” Guillén added, is a broad concept that also refers to adolescents, young people, and even adults who “can identify that child equilibrist that they carry in their hearts.”

‘It seems like they don’t notice, but they do’

The origins of the project lie in a common response from parents seeking help at the Cuenca Family Counseling Center (COF) when they are asked about their children. “What the parents conveyed to us was that their children were doing fine,” the director explained.

However, the reality is that “children, it seems like they don’t notice, but they do” pick up on what is happening around them, which is why the center launched this special, year-long program.

The program is designed to provide these children with tools to communicate with their parents, peers, and other key figures such as grandparents, teachers, or catechists. They are taught to distinguish between what happens within their family and what defines them as individuals.

‘No one is going to judge them’

Teresa Sarabia, coordinator of the Cuenca Family Guidance Center and the program itself, explained that the children are also helped to “understand the grieving process and what they are going through,” to manage their emotions, and to address their relationship with God and the concept of forgiveness, “since they sometimes waver between assigning blame and forgiveness,” Sarabia indicated.

“This is a setting of absolute confidentiality where all the children and their parents are free to express themselves openly. No one will judge them. We welcome them with authenticity and sincerity — nothing is feigned. We do this out of love, for the greater glory of God, not for our own greater glory,” Guillén explained.

For the time being, the program involves adult children partly because, at times, one parent will not give consent, but also because “we felt it was the most urgent priority, since they are the ones who will soon be starting families of their own,” Sarabia noted.

The coordinator said that the focus is the child, “but the idea is to work with the whole family,” so parents are kept informed of the path their children are on, “so that they can talk about it at home later. The idea is to build bridges between them and make this something that can be discussed openly.”

A program for the Church

The program for “The Child Equilibrist” was launched after eight years of preparation involving numerous experts from Spain and abroad. The aim is for the program to be widely adopted and to serve “to give visibility to the very specific pain experienced by these children, regardless of their age. We want them to know that their pain matters to us,” Guillén emphasized.

At the same time, the goal is for other dioceses to adopt it as well: “This is not a program we want to implement solely for ourselves. We are part of one Church, and everything we do is for the whole Church,” she concluded.

This story was first published by ACI Prensa, the Spanish-language sister service of EWTN News. It has been translated and adapted by EWTN News English.

Source: https://www.ewtnnews.com/world/europe/a-catholic-support-program-for-children-of-divorced-parents