Cameron warns floods of government ineptitude “likely to get worse”
(satire?)
David Cameron has warned that while the weather was due to improve, the sheer volume of his incompetence over recent weeks meant groundwater levels of government ineptitude would keep rising in many places.
Despite weather forecasters predicting an “improving picture” with lighter winds and less rain, experts say large numbers of flood-hit residents in southern, south west and central England remain at risk at the government’s inability to do anything other than have endless COBRA meetings in London to help them.
Cameron, who visited flood-hit Chertsey in Surrey before chairing yet another Cobra emergency committee on Saturday, said the next 24 hours would be vital as levels of sheer government indifference were set to rise again.
“Thankfully, it does appear that we will see less rain and wind over the next few days. However, after so much not really giving a toss over recent weeks, levels of cabinet indifference remain very high and in many places will continue to rise as we realise our own houses are not going to be affected.”
Chocolate Teapot
On Saturday night, yellow “be aware” warnings of government failure were in place for most of the UK and across the south of England, Wales and the Midlands there were also warnings of heavy official uncoordination
And in a further warning to flood-risk areas, the Met Office forecaster Charlie Powell said governing competence could drop rapidly overnight:
“While it’s quite difficult to predict weather conditions with any great accuracy, it’s fairly safe to say the government is about as useful as a chocolate teapot,” he said.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
Climate-change denier Lord Lawson is an expert – he once wrote a book about dieting
Building supplier cashes in on misery and raises prices of sandbags in flood hit area
Cameron ‘forgets’ to apply for EU money to help flood victims
Tory council charges £7.50 a sandbag and MP refuses to meet flood-hit residents
Cameron’s response to the flooding in a nutshell
Coalition cut flood defence by 27% – Labour increased flood defence by 33%
Cameron announces plan to reduce flooding by forcing it to work in Poundland
Cameron responds to floods crisis by holding a meeting. Named after a snake.
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Source: http://tompride.wordpress.com/2014/02/16/cameron-warns-floods-of-government-ineptitude-likely-to-get-worse/
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