Shock as figures reveal big increase in net migration of German leaders to UK

(satire?)

Net UK migration of German Chancellors to the UK increased by 100% in the year to September 2014, pushing it further away from the Conservatives’ target of below 1, according to official estimates.

The Office for National Statistics said the net flow – the numbers of German leaders coming to the UK minus the numbers leaving it – rose from a net estimate of zero in the previous year to one in 2014.

Experts say the increase has been driven by a big growth in the number of back-bench MPs migrating from the Conservative Party to UKIP.

Asked if David Cameron stood by his pledge to reduce net migration of senior German politicians to the UK by 2015, the PM’s official spokesman said:

“That is absolutely the objective and we are putting in place what we believe are the right measures that go towards meeting our objective of being such a pariah in Europe no foreigner in their right mind would want to visit us or do business with us in the future.“

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