The Age of Conservative Illusions

In light of the events of the past month which appear to have shaken the faithful, I have created a list of the Top 15 Delusions that mainstream conservatives have believed in since I have observed them:

1.) Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Colorblind Utopia – For decades, conservative liberals have believed in the delusion that American society was steadily moving toward a colorblind utopia where everyone would be judged by “the content of their character” and not “the color of their skin.” When the progressive Left abandoned this idea in the late 1960s, conservative liberals thought it was real smart to pick up this credo and make it their own. As a rule, today’s conservatism is always yesterday’s progressivism. Now, they are looking in horror at a world where their own children and grandchildren will be demonized and oppressed on the basis of their race.

2013 meta-analysis of US black-white IQ gap among 3 year olds.

Complete stability since 1960s.

This kind of thing rules out a lot of possible non-genetic causes, anything directly school related, for instance.https://t.co/ki2tO6GZLs pic.twitter.com/EqFEEmMwCZ

— Emil O W Kirkegaard (@KirkegaardEmil) May 13, 2020

2.) “All Men Are Created Equal” – Conservative liberals bought into this line from the Declaration of Independence hook, line and sinker and made it their credo. They have gone along with the liberal consensus that there are NO HEREDITARY DIFFERENCES between human populations. Everyone is equal and inequality is the result of past discrimination and current prejudice. There are no natural limitations. A man can become a woman simply by putting on a pair of panties and a dress. It was easier not to challenge the destructive logic of this idea and allow our entire civilization to be delegitimized when millenarian promises of “equality” inevitably disappointed and failed to materialize.

3.) Monopolies – For generations, conservative liberals influenced by libertarian theorists have argued that free-market capitalism does not lead to concentrated economic power in the form of monopolies. Deregulation would lead to more competition which would be better for the consumer. Neoliberalism would not return us to the immiseration, social instability and oligarchy of the Gilded Age.

4.) Free-market capitalism is compatible with social conservatism – Rest assured, social conservatives can vote for a neoliberal economic agenda – massive tax cuts, deregulation and global free trade – and that would not enrich and empower their enemies while impoverishing their own communities. It would not empower an oligarchy that is totally opposed to their values.

5.) Ordered Liberty – Conservative liberals have insisted that liberalism is compatible with order, cohesion, continuity, stability, decency and normalcy. It has limits and boundaries. It is not a slippery slope that leads to novelty chasing and a perpetual state of social revolution.

6.) Civic Nationalism – Conservative liberals completely bought into the post-World War II vision that the United States should be based on nothing but civic nationalism. In fact, America would lead the Western world with this vision, which henceforth would be based on nothing but liberal ideals. Race, ethnicity, culture, religion, sex and other ascriptive characteristics NO LONGER MATTERED.

Everyone would agree on the universal self evident truths of liberty and equality which would usher in a new happy era of universal peace. Society would not become too heterogeneous to function and start to dissolve over irreconcilable differences after these things were all wished away by utopian dreamers. Liberalism alone was strong enough to stand on its own two legs and hold nations together.

7.) “At least I still have the Constitution” – Yes, it is true that Haiti has been through 23 constitutions over the course of its turbulent history, but as long as we have our Constitution that is all we really need. The sheer compelling force of the Constitution will be enough to hold America together. Every group of people on earth no matter what their ancestry or history has exactly the same capacity for self government because liberal ideals are universally true across all cultures and all countries at all times.

8.) Magic Dirt Theory – For generations, conservative liberals have believed in the notion that magic dirt is what makes us great and foreigners become Americans simply by landing on our shores and applying for the paperwork that makes them citizens of our glorious republic. We can completely replace with the population of, say, Detroit or London with a different population and the change wouldn’t matter in the slightest. Human beings are interchangeable units because “all men are created equal.” Clearly, our culture and liberal ideals will live on long after we are gone as they have in Zimbabwe.

9.) Universal selfishness serves the common good – This is the moral theory of free-market capitalism. A system built on universal selfishness will lift all boats and promote the general welfare of society rather than immiserate the working class so that a few corpulent billionaires can own mega yachts.

10.) Meritocracy – According to meritocracy, raising up a new American elite based on a nebulous idea called “merit” measured by SAT test scores would create a new elite that was a marked improvement over the WASP elite. This elite would not be selfish, alienated, hostile and unfit to govern.

11.) Anti-racism – Conservative liberals clutched this viper to their chest and went along with elevating it into being the supreme good in our society. If only they believed in the gospel of anti-racism hard enough, then racial inequality would disappear. Racial hatred would become a thing of the past. The clouds would part and racial discord would vanish. They could accept this and get on with business.

12.) More Liberal Democracy – More liberal democracy is always better than limiting democracy. As a society, we have progressed as voting rights have been steadily expanded so that our share of the electorate as White men has been steadily reduced in our own countries. An electorate in which a majority of voters are women and racial minorities is clearly better than the one we had in 1790.

13.) “Wait until reality hits them” – As for all the communists and anarchists and myriad types of social justice fanatics incubating in our universities, wait until they have to get a real job in the real world!

14.) Fair Play – Something conservative liberals believe in which their ruthless opponents absolutely do not. The conservative liberal is timid and weak and incapable of being mean, unfair or taking his own side. They have a chronic inability to say “NO” to anyone to their Left.

15.) BLEXIT and Jexodus – Blacks and Jews are always poised to abandon their allegiance to the Democratic Party and start voting Republican. Conservative liberals are absolutely obsessed with pursuing core Democratic voters who never end up voting of them.