Joe Biden Saves 9,000 Lives!

Uncle Joe Biden is bound and determined to save the United States!

The latest plot to erupt from the orifices of the President Elect is the advice to United Statians not to take the Trump Vaccination. The Trump Vaccination was developed by Pfizer, and is in the final stages of testing.

The vaccine is rumored to be only 90% effective. Since the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation has predicted 90,000 deaths from the Chinese Plague in December alone, and the Vaccine is only 90% effective, it will only save 81,000 lives, and that’s a net loss of 9,000 lives!

“C’mon, man!” Sez Uncle Joe, “His vaccine would kill 9,000 people! My vaccine will be 100% effective! That’ll save 9,000 lives! That Trump could be so cruel so as to maliciously kill 9,000 people…that makes his vaccine no good. Nobody should take the Trump vaccine…they should wait for the Biden Vaccine!”

When asked when his own vaccine would be ready, Uncle Joe said: “C’mon, man! Why do you think I’ve been in my basement so long! While Trump was running around and shooting his mouth off, I’ve been working! Why, sometimes I’m so exhausted it’s hard for me to talk coherently.” 

That Uncle Joe is so dedicated speaks well for his election, and the wisdom of the United States people in electing him. 

There is no truth to the rumor that his vaccine will only work for Democrats.

This scientifically proven and satirical article has been brought to you by The Daily Neutron.