Read the story here. Advertise at Before It's News here.
Profile image
Story Views
Last hour:
Last 24 hours:

Joe Biden Saves 9,000 Lives!

% of readers think this story is Fact. Add your two cents.

Uncle Joe Biden is bound and determined to save the United States!

The latest plot to erupt from the orifices of the President Elect is the advice to United Statians not to take the Trump Vaccination. The Trump Vaccination was developed by Pfizer, and is in the final stages of testing.

The vaccine is rumored to be only 90% effective. Since the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation has predicted 90,000 deaths from the Chinese Plague in December alone, and the Vaccine is only 90% effective, it will only save 81,000 lives, and that’s a net loss of 9,000 lives!

“C’mon, man!” Sez Uncle Joe, “His vaccine would kill 9,000 people! My vaccine will be 100% effective! That’ll save 9,000 lives! That Trump could be so cruel so as to maliciously kill 9,000 people…that makes his vaccine no good. Nobody should take the Trump vaccine…they should wait for the Biden Vaccine!”

When asked when his own vaccine would be ready, Uncle Joe said: “C’mon, man! Why do you think I’ve been in my basement so long! While Trump was running around and shooting his mouth off, I’ve been working! Why, sometimes I’m so exhausted it’s hard for me to talk coherently.” 

That Uncle Joe is so dedicated speaks well for his election, and the wisdom of the United States people in electing him. 

There is no truth to the rumor that his vaccine will only work for Democrats.

This scientifically proven and satirical article has been brought to you by The Daily Neutron.

Before It’s News® is a community of individuals who report on what’s going on around them, from all around the world.

Anyone can join.
Anyone can contribute.
Anyone can become informed about their world.

"United We Stand" Click Here To Create Your Personal Citizen Journalist Account Today, Be Sure To Invite Your Friends.

Please Help Support BeforeitsNews by trying our Natural Health Products below!

Order by Phone at 888-809-8385 or online at M - F 9am to 5pm EST

Order by Phone at 888-388-7003 or online at M - F 9am to 5pm EST

Order by Phone at 888-388-7003 or online at M - F 9am to 5pm EST

Humic & Fulvic Trace Minerals Complex - Nature's most important supplement! Vivid Dreams again!

HNEX HydroNano EXtracellular Water - Improve immune system health and reduce inflammation

Ultimate Clinical Potency Curcumin - Natural pain relief, reduce inflammation and so much more.

MitoCopper - Bioavailable Copper destroys pathogens and gives you more energy. (See Blood Video)
Oxy Powder - Natural Colon Cleanser!  Cleans out toxic buildup with oxygen! 
Nascent Iodine - Promotes detoxification, mental focus and thyroid health.
Smart Meter Cover -  Reduces Smart Meter radiation by 96%!  (See Video)

Immusist Beverage Concentrate - Proprietary blend, formulated to reduce inflammation while hydrating and oxygenating the cells.

Report abuse


    Your Comments
    Question   Razz  Sad   Evil  Exclaim  Smile  Redface  Biggrin  Surprised  Eek   Confused   Cool  LOL   Mad   Twisted  Rolleyes   Wink  Idea  Arrow  Neutral  Cry   Mr. Green

    Load more ...




    Email this story
    Email this story

    If you really want to ban this commenter, please write down the reason:

    If you really want to disable all recommended stories, click on OK button. After that, you will be redirect to your options page.