Exclusive: Purple Unicorns Discovered on Mars!

Well, we’re not really sure, but it would appear that Purple Unicorns have been discovered on Mars.

Or at least, we think it’s possible that they have to exist up there, right?

That’s basically the line of argument former NSA head Keith Alexander made in a Bloomberg News interview about Edward Snowden on Tuesday.

H/T to Buzzfeed:

“Well, I think he’s working for them. I wouldn’t go so far as to say a double agent but he’s working for someone,” Alexander, who resigned in the wake of Snowden’s revelations of massive government surveillance, said on Bloomberg TV.

Alexander also said earlier he didn’t believe Snowden got out of the Moscow’s Sheremetyevo airport without making an agreement with Russian intelligence services.

The short clip can be seen on Buzzfeed’s site.

Alexander’s unfounded assertion that Snowden is working for the Russian’s or for “someone,” goes unchallenged by the Bloomberg News host, who chimed in to repeat Alexander’s closing remarks, “Something’s not right.”

Indeed, something’s not right. That something would be the once-esteemed 4^th Estate, crouched down, subserviently licking the hand that feeds them.

The Founders would be appalled by the current state of affairs in 21^st Century America.

Keep these bold words in mind, my friends:

“If you love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.” — Samuel Adams