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By The Adventures of Yorky
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Yorky To The Rescue ~ 6

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     Most of the shearing was left to Billy, Jerry his brother and the Kiwis. On evening, miself and Kerry were partying at the Kildonan when Bill and a new girlfriend of his walked in.
“Bill!, I yelled out. “Come and join us mate. Where’ve ya been? Ya missing out on all the fun.”
“I’m in the shit Yorky.”
“Why? What’s the matter mate?”
“I was driving home late last night from Lamlash and I smashed up the front end of mi new Peugeot.”
“How the fuck did ya do that mate? Were ya pissed?”
“Not really Yorky. I’d had a few but I was perfectly capable of driving.”
“So, what happened?”
“I was doing about about 40 round a corner and right out of the blue, a fucking cow decided to cross the road. I hit the bastard in the rear end and broke both its’ legs.”
“Ya fucking kidding. What’s gonna happen?”
“I drove back to mi mothers’ place and called the cops. I told them there was a cow laid out in the middle of the road on a blind corner.”
“Did ya tell ‘em you’d hit it?”
“No fucking way. I said some one else must have hit it first.”
“How much damage did ya do to the Ute?”
“Probably 7 or 8 hundred quids worth.”
“Fuck me dead Bill, you’ll have to shear a few sheep to pay for that.”
“Yeah. Jerry isn’t too fucking happy either. We’ve only had it a couple of months and it’s a company car.”
“Well, at least ya weren’t hurt mate, which is more than I can say for the cow. What’s gonna’ happen to the cow?”
“I told the cops to take the vet with them as they’re gonna’ need him.”


     It was a Thursday afternoon and I’d just found out that there was a disco night at a place called Shiskin. The night was billed as ‘Shisky Disky’. I told mi Kiwi mates about it and they were quite excited about the prospect of going. Even Bill and Jerry said they were going as it was supposed to be a big event. Most of the young people on the Island would be there. I drove the two Kiwis over to Shiskin in my car and Kerry took his own.
     We arrived around 10 as that was the time the action was going to happen. The big event was held in an oversized Nisson hut which was already packed. Every young girl who worked in a hotel on the Island must have been there. The place looked like at least 3 to 1 in favor of girls.
     By the end of the evening, everyone had hooked up with a decent looking woman. I made arrangements for the Kiwis to get a ride back to the caravan with Jerry as I wanted a bit of privacy with my young sheila. We’d already done some heavy petting in mi car before the disco closed. I knew for sure that it was ‘Jackpot night’!
     Everyone at the disco had been drinking which meant a lot of people would be driving home drunk. As we drove off, across the Island, I was super careful not to drive too fast. Not because I wasn’t capable of driving but Billy had already pranged up his Ute and that was not going to happen to me.

     Halfway home, I spotted a young girl stood at the side of the road, frantically waving her arms. I pulled up to give her a ride home.
‘What’s a young girl doing out here in the middle of nowhere’, I thought. ‘Maybe she wouldn’t cock it up so the boyfriend told her to get out and walk home.’
     As she walked towards the front of the car, I could see, from the headlights, that she had blood on her face and was hysterical.
“Help me! Help me!”, she yelled.
     I immediately jumped out of the car and walked towards her.
“What’s happened?”, I said as I couldn’t see any signs of a car. “Did someone beat ya’ up?”
“No! No!  There’s been a bad accident.”
“What d’ya mean? I don’t see any cars.”
“They’re down there.”, she said, pointing down to a really steep gully.
     Fortunately it was quite light out due to the full moon. I looked over the edge of the road into the gully and there was the car. It looked like it was half-wrapped around a tree at the bottom. The young woman who I was with was now was out of my car, trying to calm down the girl who was probably no more than 18.
“Are you hurt?”, I asked
“No, I’m just bruised but my friends are still in the car and they can’t  move.”
     In an instant, the effects of the nights’ drinking were gone and  I sprang into action!
“You stay here with my friend while I climb down there to see what’s happening.”
“Please save them. One of them is my boyfriend the other 2 are my brother and his girlfriend. My brother was drinking all night and he ran off the road.
“Don’t worry love, everything will be all right. I’ll get ‘em out of there.”
     Looking down the gully again, I could see that it was really steep.  There were large rocks, soft dirt and small brush. If I tried to get down the gully directly, up from the car and I dislodged some of the boulders, they would go rolling down the gully and smash into their car.
     I walked about 10 feet up from the car and started to go down the gully. I estimated it was about 50 0r 60 feet to where their car came to an abrupt halt. As I descended  down the gully, small and medium-sized rocks rolled down in front of me. They missed the car as they bounced down the hill. I had to be really careful miself because if I missed mi footing and fell on mi arse, I could have skidded down the gully past the car and would have landed at the bottom and possibly broken something of mi own.

     Once I got level with the wrecked car, I stuck  mi head in the broken side window to see what the damage was inside.
“How is everyone? Has anyone got anything broken or bleeding badly?”
     All three of them were in shock. The girl in the front was crying.
“I think my arm’s broken, I can’t move it! Can you please go and get help for us. I don’t want to die down here.”
“Don’t panic love. No one’s gonna’ die. I’m gonna’ get ya all out of here and take ya to the hospital.”, I told her.
“How are you mate?”, I said to the driver.
     He was in so much shock he could only moan. The bloke in the back seat was wedged on the floor up against the back of the front seats.
“Mate, can ya hear me? Can ya move at all?”
“No,” he moaned. I think mi leg’s broken. I can’t move it.”
“All right, now listen carefully. This is what I’m gonna’ do. I’m gonna’ get ya all out of here, one by one. I’m gonna’ get you to the top first love, then I’ll come back down for you blokes.”
     Luckily, both side doors had sprung open from the impact of hitting the tree.
     Marrie, the woman who I had picked up at the disco, called down the hill to me.
“Is anyone dead?”
“No, but I think there are broken bones.”
“Let’s drive into the first place that has a hospital for help.
“It’s miles away. It’ll take too long.”, I said
” How’re ya gonna’ get ‘me out?”, she asked.
“I’m gonna’ carry ‘em up the hill, one at a time.”

     Once I got the young woman out of the front seat and balanced her against the car, I said,
“If I hold ya good hand do you think ya can make it up the gully?”
“I’ll try but I’ve only got one arm and the pain in mi other one is unbearable.”
“We walked a few feet away from the car and I picked out a spot where I thought it would be the easiest way to get back up to the road. As soon as she had gone about 10 feet, she slipped and started to slide back down. Fortunatley, I was behind her so she didn’t go the rest of the way. Now, she started to cry again saying,
“Mi dad’s gonna kill me when I get home.”
“Don’t cry love. You’re gonna’ get home alright after I get you to a hospital.”
     There was only one course of action that I could see. I would have to carry her up the gully on mi back. To make matters worse, all I had on mi feet were a pair of thongs that were causing me to slip on the loose dirt and rocks. I took ‘em off and threw ‘em towards the car.

“Alright Sweetheart, this is what we’re gonna’ do. Now, I’m warning ya, before we start, this is probably gonna’ hurt ya a lot. You’re gonna’ have to be really tough!. I’m gonna’ put ya over my shoulder like a sack of spuds and carry you up to the gully. Is that all right with you?”
     Between sobs she said,
“All right.”
“Once we start, I won’t be able to stop or we’ll probably slide back down and that will be even more painful.”
     I stood her up in position and then picked her up in a half-arsed Firemans’ lift.
“Now, grab my belt with ya good hand and hang on best ya can.”
     As soon as we made the first few steps up, she started crying really loud. I had to harden my heart so I could get her out of there.
      I lodged my bare feet in the soft dirt and found foot-holds in the bigger rocks. It was a good job I had been shearing bare-foot for a couple of months and my feet were really tough. I grabbed hold of the stronger bushes and pushed with my feet and pulled with my hands. I, more or less, went up that gully on mi hands and knees.
“Stop! Stop!”, she cried. “I can’t go any further. My arm hurts so bad.”
     I had no time to give her any sweet talk so I said,
“Shut the fuck up will ya or we’ll end up at the bottom. Is that what ya want?”
“No.”, she cried and the loud crying became a bit softer.
     Eventually, after tearing the knees out of mi good Levis and scratching the fuck out of mi arms and elbows, I got her onto the road. Marrie was at the top waiting to give her some comfort and a shoulder to cry on. Then she helped her into the back of mi car.
“What about mi brother?”, she cried. “You’re not gonna’ leave him down there are ya?”
“No love, I’m not. I’m going back down for him now.”
“I don’t believe this.”, said Marrie. “This is like something out of a nightmare.
“You’d better believe it. Nightmare or not, I’ve got two blokes to get outa’ that car.”

     Once I got back down to the car, I said the bloke in the back,
“Your turn now mate. I’m gonna’ get ya out’a here.”
     I wrenched open the back door of the car and helped the bloke get himself up on the seat.
“I’m sure my fucking leg’s broken. There’s no way I’m getting out of this Gully.”
     The kid was about 20 and quite thin so I knew I could get him up the hill no matter what it took. For some reason, his negativity clashed with my commitment to get him out.
     I said to him,
“You’re going up this hill to my car even if I have to drag you every inch of the fucking way and if ya don’t stop ya fucking winghin’ mate, I’ll knock ya out with a fucking rock and drag ya up there with ya broken fucking leg. Now, let’s get ya out of the car first.”
     Once I had him out and stood on one leg, I put him across my shoulders the same way as I carried the girl. Once we got going back up the gully, the young bloke was crying and swearing.
“Put me down ya fucking bastard. The pain’s too much. I can’t stand it!”
     Then he tried to get off mi shoulder.
“Keep still ya Scottish fucking cunt or we’ll both end up at the bottom and then you’ll have 2 broken legs. That girl has more guts than you, ya mongrel cunt! She got a broken arm and never made a sound!”
     That little bit of bullshit went a long way. The kid stopped complaining but kept on crying.
“One more to go.”, I said to Marrie as I sat him on the side of the road.
“Maybe ya could say some soft, kind words to him. I had to be a bit brutal to him or he would have given up on me.”
     The last bloke was stood next to the car when I got down the gully again.
“How’re ya doing mate? Anything broken?”
“I think I might have broken some ribs. I’ve got a lot of pain in mi chest when I breathe. What’s your name?”, said the young bloke.
“Yorky, what’s yours?”
“Jimmy. I don’t know what we would have done if you hadn’t come by. How do I thank you for getting us out of here?”
“Ya don’t have to mate. Save ya strength for gettin’ up this fucking gully. So, this is how we’re gonna’ do it. You’re gonna grab my arm in a firemans’ grip like this and I’m gonna pull ya up behind me. Do ya best to help with ya other hand and watch out for this loose dirt and rocks. I don’t want one to hit ya in the head. Are ya ready to go?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be. If I start complaining about the pain in mi chest just ignore me and keep going.”
“Good on ya mate. I’ll take it slowly alright?”

     It was much easier to get this young man out of the gully as he wasn’t hurt as badly as the others. Also, he could help me by hanging onto rocks and bushes. At long last, I had all four people in mi car. The next job was to get them to a hospital.
     Once we found the hospital, Marrie went inside to get some help. Pretty soon nurses and orderlies were outside loading up the young people into wheel chairs and stretchers. A nurse said to me,
“Sir, we’ll need you to come inside and give us your name and address for when we inform the police.”
“No worries love, I’ll be there shortly. As soon as she had disappeared inside, I said to Marrie,
“Hop in the car, we’re out a here.”
” What about giving all your details to the hospital?”
“Fuck that for a joke. I like my privacy too much.”
“But they’ll probably want to give you some recognition for saving their lives?”
“I’m not interested. I don’t need recognition for doing the right thing.”
     As we drove back to where Marrie was living, I started to think about the root I was expecting to get. When I pulled up outside her door she said,
“I’m going to go straight to bed now Yorky.”
“Me too love. I’ll be right there once I park the car.”
“On my own Yorky. I’m far too traumatized to think about sex tonight but pick me up tomorrow night after work and you’re on.  By the way, what you did tonight for those people, you deserve a medal.”
“I’d rather have a shag. Ya can keep the medal.”
“Tomorrow night Yorky, I promise. Good night.”

     On the drive back to the caravan, my 26 year old heart was happy that I could help the young kids but my 26 year old mind was pissed off because it cost me a good fuck.
     When I got back to the caravan in the early hours of the morning, all the lights were out. When I got inside I discovered I had the whole place to miself and no woman to share it with. Mi shearing mates were probably sleeping off a nights’ partying and shaggin’.
     Here I am in an old caravan on mi own. As the famous Aussie Bush Ranger Ned Kelly said just before they hung him in Melbourne jail. “Such is life!”

     Around lunch time the next morning, Kinghorn stopped by the caravan on his way to Kildonan.
“Yorky mate.”, he said as he walked in the caravan, “I hear you’re a bit of a hero.”
“How come?”
“Ya know that news travels fast on the Island and everybody’s talking about one of my shearers saving four young peoples’ lives last night. I guessed it was you.”
“It could have been the Kiwis.”, I said.
“Nah mate. No chance of that. They’re good blokes and all that but they haven’t got that kind of guts. They’re not mature enough. Anyway, how come you’re on ya own? What happened to that young lass I saw ya with last night? She was all over ya.”
“The accident put the kibosh on that bit of pussy. She said she was too traumatized for sex.”
“Typical woman mate. It doesn’t take too much to put ‘em off sex Yorky. Now, take me for example, I could be half fucking dead and still want a root.”
“Yeah, right Billy. That’s because you’re the Isle of Arrons number one gigolo!”
“I wouldn’t say that Yorky, but I’m doin’ my best.”

     We joked around for a few minutes then Billy said,
“Well, are you getting out of that fart sack or not? Let’s go to one of the hotels and I’ll buy ya a liquid lunch.”
“How about a feed to go with it?
“You’re on Yorky. Let’s go mate. We can’t keep the ladies waiting can we?”

This is an introduction to the Mercurial World of Guru Om. He will fascinate your mind and bring you to understandings that you may have never even imagined.


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