Frankenstein fish that love to kill

Forget Great White sharks and wimpy South American pirhanas.

The following fish from hell make those pitiful critters little more than playful imps by comparison.

All of these nightmarish creatures are carefully researched…they’re some of the most horrendous things that exist.

None of these fish are fake or Photoshopped. Every one of these terrible things are real and right now–even as you read this–they’re out there swimming, diving, lurking…just waiting for some dumb fool to come dog-paddling along.

The Fangtooth fish

Can you guess why they call this monstrosity a Fangtooth? This thing looks like it should have died at birth. Well, maybe it should of, but things this horrible are too mean to die.

Found in the tropical waters of the Pacific and Atlantic Ocean.

The Needletooth Fish

God pity the poor fisherman that hooks one of these. This blank-eyed nightmare looks like a wet zombie with a beak. If this thing’s spotted in the water get to some place safe–like the Arizona desert. Adults can grow over 6 feet long.

Found in temperate and tropical oceans throughout the world.

The Sea Angler

See how it’s holding it’s head in the photo? It often looks like that. It stretches its head back when its swallowing a lump of food. It can tear off and swallow whole chunks of fresh flesh as big as your hand or foot. It digests the bones too.

Fun facts: The anglerfish is able to distend both its jaw and its stomach (its bones are thin and flexible) to enormous size, allowing it to swallow prey up to twice as large as its entire body. The pectoral and ventral fins are so articulated as to perform the functions of feet…yeah, the damn thing walks too! [Wikipedia]

Found worldwide (isn’t that comforting?).

The Monkfish

Why anyone would name this spiny thing that resembles a dying cactus a monk is anybody’s guess. Take a look at those eyes. Don’t they resemble rivets? The teeth don’t look too bad until you realize there must be a thousand of them.

The Longhead Dreamer

I swear, some of these creatures must have been named by drug addicts or escapees from an asylum. After all, who in their right mind would call this ghastly goblin-like thing a “dreamer.” What kind of dreams? The kind where normal people wake up screaming, bathed in sweat?

Found where you least expect them.

The Bathysaurus, or Deep Sea Lizardfish

No one will ever miss the lovable T-Rex with the lizard fish around. Covered in armored scales, it’s dark brown or black with a scary black lining inside its gaping maw. It really looks like something that crawled out of “Jurassic Park.” Even with all their money, Hollywood special effects teams never came close to creating something as sinister as this. Just check out those creepy yellow eyes. They look like the eyes of a possessed voodoo doll.

Found in tropical and subtropical seas worldwide.

The Hideous Blobfish

Finally someone named something right. The name says it all. This pitiful creature is so disgusting it actually looks laughable. Don’t laugh too hard though…if you draw its attention it might suck out your eyes.

Found in the deep waters off the coasts of mainland Australia and Tasmania.

The Barreleye Fish

Just in case you’ve been getting good sleep lately, here’s something that will change that. It’s almost guaranteed if you stare at this devilish thing for more than 10 seconds you won’t sleep well again for at least a week.

Found in tropical-to-temperate waters of the Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian Oceans.

The Viperfish

This fanged monster isn’t very big. But that doesn’t mean you’re safe. It’s one of the fiercest predators in the ocean. You won’t be very big either if a couple of these decide you look like their next meal. And what will be left after they’re done might not be enough to fill a crummy appetizer plate at a two-bit diner in Jersey.

Found mainly in tropical and temperate waters.

The Dragon Fish

Thankfully, you’ll probably never encounter this fish unless you go down about a mile under the ocean in a bathyscope. If you do, don’t get too close to it. Always hungry, the bloody Dragon Fish never sleeps and it’s constantly patrolling the ocean seeking prey. You never know if it might decide your submersible looks appetizing.

Fun fact: They can change from male to female as they age to increase their chances of finding a mate and make more of themselves. Just great.

Found in southern Atlantic and Pacific waters.

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