I have been asked by my beloved Gabriella to speak about Unconditional Love.

Unconditional Love is a large topic, a Universal one in fact.  You have been told that all is love, and yet you live in a world where little unconditional love is present. You have suffered the lack in childhood and ever after, and it has required that you turn yourselves inside out to try to provide something for yourselves that was not available from others.

This love gymnastics program you all experienced – even in the best of families – encouraged you to learn two things:  One, you can’t trust anybody, and Two, you must trust yourself.  It is a conundrum, isn’t it?  If you continue a life without trusting anyone, you close down your judgment, thereby guaranteeing that you will always make faulty choices and end up hurting yourself. If you trust everyone, as some of you say you should, you will also not make good choices because you have blinded yourselves to the truth that there are still some on the planet who are truly untrustworthy.

Now, where does that leave us if we wish to love unconditionally?  How do you do it and still remain whole, in spite of the rough and tumble life you signed on for?  There is an answer to this, Dear Ones.  Love makes you stronger, so even if you chose badly in the past, you are not weakened by it; you are stronger and wiser.  You are sturdy adults, so you have nothing to fear from loving wholeheartedly, regardless of the outcome.  

Be generous in your gifts of love, but you must also be unwavering in your standards for the way you will be treated.  If your loved one betrays you or abuses you even once, do not stay and try to change him/her; you are entitled to end the relationship immediately.

Do not wait until you have married the person, had children, or started a business together.  The rule of thumb is this: If a person is willing to behave violently or dishonestly once, they will repeat that behavior.  Character does not change in a moment.  Although outward behavior might change for a while, it does not “hold” because it comes from ego, not inner guidance.  Leave and find yourself someone with integrity – someone you don’t have to change.

Of course I do not mean to say that people are not capable of change.  Some are.  You are, but why would you want to choose someone as your partner who will become a lifelong project in which you are in the position of correcting and admonishing them as if you were the parent and they the child?  Or worse yet, you are suffering in silence, feeling hurt and confused?  If the person in question is willing to change, they will do it of their own accord, without prodding, just as you have.  Perhaps your leaving them will create impetus for them to change; perhaps not.

You see, the scenario I have described above would only continue for a second round if your ego is in charge, calling the shots.  Egos love a challenge, even a deadly one.  Your own ego (and his/hers) will lie to you, tell you that to “forgive and forget” and welcome them back is an honorable, superior way to live.  Listening to Ego, you will want to be superior, above the one who has hurt you, and you will be tempted to prove it to yourself and everyone else over and over.  Beware the seductive promise of Sainthood. 
 

If you have remained in a relationship where you were frequently feeling hurt, frustrated or angry, there are three possibilities:

1.  You are deluding yourself into thinking that your love will change the other person (bring out the best in them), and it is worth staying because there are good times as well as bad times. 

2.  Related to 1, above: You are taking the “I’m so forgiving” position, which means you    have not forgiven at all, but you are taking credit for it, by suppressing all feelings of anger.  This is what we think of as the Lightworker analogue to “I’m too sexy for my shirt…too sexy for Milan, New York, Japan.”    **  *** (see footnote below)

3. You are firmly ensconced in a child position (as described in Kathryn’s book, Who Needs Light?) and you are either imagining insults that do not exist, or you are imagining you are a helpless prisoner in this relationship, or you believe you don’t deserve better, or all of the above.

Beloved Ones, Love does not hurt.  If you have loved with all your heart, you have fulfilled your promise to love unconditionally.  There is nothing more you could do, and if the relationship ends, either by death or separation, there is no reason to be devastated or bereft.  You have gained the experience of feeling great love, and you come away ready to express that love toward everyone you meet.  This is not a loss or a failure; it is a triumph.  

If you are feeling devastated, outraged and hurt, look closely at the thinking process you have applied to understanding the broken relationship.  Are you blaming yourself for choosing badly or for not being able to “make it work”?  Are you devastated that the other person doesn’t want to be with you any longer?  Are you outraged at a dishonest, deceitful or unfair action on the other’s part?  Let us look at these (Ego) responses.

We have already covered blaming yourself.  It is unfair, unkind, and unrealistic – an old pattern put in place by Ego to protect you from pain at some early time in your life, when you needed to believe you were in control of everything that happened, because that is better than feeling helpless.  This is an early childhood compromise: If I am to blame, then I can fix it, and they aren’t as bad as they seem.  They are exonerated, so I don’t have to cry myself to sleep every night, realizing how awful they are.  I am in control, so I will be okay.  That works for a child who has no other option but to remain where s/he is and try to make the best of it, but it is simply not true, then or now.

If you are devastated about the break-up or loss, you are imagining you can’t live happily without the person who has left.  Assuming it is a break-up, then either the other wanted to leave, or you wanted to leave, or you both wanted out.  From an adult perspective where you have free will and so do they, what is so terrible about that? Why would you even give a second of your precious life to longing for someone who doesn’t want you?  Would you really want someone to stay with you against their wishes?  Why?  If you were the one who needed to leave, then why look back with regret and try to convince yourself that you should have stayed?  So that you both could suffer endlessly?  Why not breathe a sigh or relief and move on?  You are both free to find a more satisfying life.  (If you find yourself resenting his new life, look to Ego for explanations.)

Now, let us look at the situation where you have been betrayed, snookered, hoodwinked, mislead, deceived, duped, cheated or skunked.  You are probably trying to convince yourself you had no idea he or she could do such a thing, but deep down, you knew you were playing with fire.  Think of the first time you met this person.  What was your intuitive response?  Did your heart go pitty-pat?  That, Dear One, is fear.  Did you feel the kind of attraction that made you want to melt?  You were already giving up your good judgment.  

Most people will acknowledge there was a moment when they felt a hesitation, a doubt, or even an outright knowing that this person was trouble.  So, now you complain that you have been taken advantage of? That doesn’t make sense, does it?

Instead of gnashing your teeth and beating your chest about the unfairness of it all, congratulate yourself for your good radar.  It was working then and it is working now.  You needn’t fear that you will make the same mistake again.  You only need to pay attention to your best faculties, and you will be safe and happy next time.  That intuitive nudge came from your Higher Self and your Guides.  They deserve a thank you, and now you can consciously connect with your Higher Self and have a good laugh together.   In fact, you can apologize for not listening!

Now that we have removed the booby traps, you are ready to move on to the real thing:  Unconditional unconditional Love.  Knowing that no one owes you anything, and that there is no outward reward to be expected for your acts of love, go ahead and have fun.  Spread Light around you with a broad brush.  Give what you can, graciously accept what is offered, and expect nothing more than to have a wonderful time. You will end each day exhilarated, fulfilled, and eager for another opportunity to be loving and kind. 

This is the key to unconditional love, Beloved Friends: Anticipate fun and enormous blessings in your life when you live generously, but expect nothing in particular.  It is the work of God and the angels to fill the lives of those who serve with pennies from Heaven, sunshine and flowers.  This is not payment for your good acts, because there may not be a one-to-one correlation between your goodness and your rewards.  Much depends upon your soul contract and your lessons still to be completed.  

You might even cultivate a new attitude toward those lessons if you want to maintain your sense of humor.  Here is my suggestion:  Every time you suddenly find yourself face down in the mud – or one of life’s equivalents – just pick yourself up, brush yourself off with a hearty laugh, and thank your guides for the clever fast one they just pulled on you.  Then, look closely at what you can gain by thoroughly understanding the people, the conditions and requirements of this latest bump in the road.  You will come away richer, smarter, and completely at peace, because you didn’t feel you had to blame anybody or get upset.  This is what we mean by “rolling with it,” isn’t it?

You see, Unconditional Love means you love yourself unconditionally first, and God is right up there too.  When you cultivate that state of your heart where you are in love with yourself, with God and with Life, then you will be surrounded by Love of your own making, and you will never feel alone.  

If it is in your contract to encounter an unconditionally loving partner, it will happen.  When it does, you will simply be “hooking up” with someone who feels the same way about you that you do, so there won’t be arguments or misunderstandings.  You will love each other beautifully, with respect, admiration and wonder.  There will be no need for bargains or deals or manipulations to get love.  It is freely given, both ways.

So you see, Dear Ones, expressing Unconditional Love will never cost you a thing. It will fill you up, lift your vibrations and speed you toward your Ascension.  It cannot exhaust you because you will be channeling the energy of the Universe, and you will be the recipient of it first.  You will find yourself with a spring in your step and a laugh on your lips.  When you are in Love, everything looks beautiful, even if it isn’t.  

So, go ahead.  Hug a tree.  Hug a child.  Be a little silly, and laugh about it.  It is contagious.  If you don’t know how to dance, take a lesson.  Sing in the shower and admire the sound.  Applaud others when they try something new.  Notice the leaves changing, clouds floating by, and greet the rain with cheers and gratitude.  Everywhere you look there is something to Love, to celebrate.  Send out your Unconditional Love vibes to the sparrow in the tree, the bee on a flower and the dinner on your table.  Don’t hold back.  Then send Unconditional Love to all those people who are destructive, evil, lost.  You, My Dearest Ones, are changing the world.

I love you Unconditionally, always.
I am your Lucifer, in service to God.

Transcribed by Kathryn E. May, October 7, 2014, 5 pm, Vendee, Quebec.

*Creator: “Learn Deep-Self Diving”, Transcribed by Kathryn E. May, Sept. 30, 2014  To be posted soon on www.whoneedslight.org, 

**song by Right Said Fred, #1 on the U.S charts in 1992.  By brothers Richard and Fred Fairbrass.       Right Said Fred – I’M Too Sexy Forhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39YUXIKrOFk 

***For a more complete discussion of true forgiveness, see the article by Kathryn E. May, PsyD and Gabriella, “The Black Hole of Forgiveness”  Sept. 21, 2014
On website soon,  under Current Messages.
 

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